


Illegal Magic Part 2

by QueenCoeurl



Series: Illegal Magic AU [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Blood and Gore, Gen, Illegal Activities, Language, Magic, Murder, Urban Fantasy, illegal magic au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-27 09:17:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6278680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenCoeurl/pseuds/QueenCoeurl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Geoff’s got his hands on a job with the potential for a large pay out, while Jack finally figures out what Demon is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Illegal Magic Part 2

 The pub was brightly lit and the owner was running a mop between the tables. All the chairs were neatly overturned and placed on their tables to make the owner’s job easier.

 He was an older man, balding and wearing a stained apron. His bar was his life, and he was willing to do pretty much anything to keep it afloat.

 That included allowing some less than upstanding characters to use the place during off hours.

 The front door swung open on a scraggly looking man with tattoos covering his arms entered.

 He eyed the owner, “I’m here to meet with-”

 "Back room.“ The owner jabbed his thumb towards a door at the back end of the bar.

 Geoff nodded and made his way over. He knocked loudly on the wooden door that proclaimed "STAFF ONLY”.

 "Come in!“ A male voice ordered from the room beyond.

 Geoff obliged and entered.

 Inside sat a dark brown haired woman in her mid-thirties. On either side of her sat a man. The two men were heavily muscled and clearly there for defensive purposes. One was brown haired and blue eyed, the other was slightly chubby and had black hair with brown eyes.

 The room itself was lit with incandescent bulbs and was clearly a storage space. Still there was room for a round table with six chairs. Three chairs on one side were where the woman and two men sat, so Geoff grabbed himself a seat opposite them.

 Outnumbered three to one, Geoff was beginning to regret not asking that Ryan accompany him. Unfortunately he had promised Ryan time to settle in his new apartment and mentally recover from the whole kidnapping thing.

 Geoff brought his hands onto the table and interlaced his fingers, "So what can I do ya for?” he said with retail brand friendliness.

 "The Eyes of Anubis.“ The woman carefully annunciated.

 Geoff whistled, "Those are in a museum in Cairo. Can’t get those for you: it’s not what I do. I’m not the heisting type.”

 The woman shook her head, “You misunderstand. I want to know if you would be capable of selling them if you _had_ them.”

 Geoff’s eyebrows raised, “And how could I ever have them if they’re in a museum halfway around the world?”

 She looked to the man on her left and nodded.

 The man brought up a suit case and placed it on the table. He opened it to reveal a foam padded interior. Securely nestled in the foam were two carved spheres made of solid lapis lazuli.

 "Oh fuck me.“ Geoff was in awe. They definitely looked real, but it would be Jack who would know best.

 "These are the real Eyes of Anubis. We have replaced the ones on display with fakes. I want these sold before it becomes known that they are missing.” The woman told Geoff, “Are you capable of that?”

 Geoff leaned back in his seat, and gave a long exhale, “What you have to understand is that these are a specialty item. Find the right buyer and you can ask a fortune, but finding that buyer? It won’t be easy, or quick. Not to mention their authenticity will be under constant suspicion… And when the robbery makes the media, the number of fakes will skyrocket.

 I also have to say that the only proof that these here are real is your word for it. Until I have my people appraise it, I won’t believe it to be the real deal.

 That being said: if these are the real deal… well, that’s quite the asking price you can demand, and I’m sure you’ll understand that my commission will have to be higher than the usual for such a hot item. Even higher if you want us to store it before sale; seeing as how these are cursed and all.”

 The woman’s lips became a thin line, “And what kind of commission would you demand?”

 Geoff extended his right arm and rested it on the chair next to him, “Fifteen to twenty percent of final sale.”

 "That is outrageous.“ The woman spoke calmly.

 "You can always try to sell it yourself.” Geoff shrugged with one shoulder.

 "And you can find yourself another client.“ The woman replied.

 "I’m not the one with highly cursed and internationally hot artefacts burning a hole in my pocket.” Geoff argued, “I don’t need this sale.”

 The woman closed the suitcase and the man that had put it on the table took it back away.

 "I will pay you ten percent of the final sale price.“ The woman began to negotiate.

 "I said fifteen to twenty.” Geoff responded, “And the Eyes of Anubis are definitely hitting the twenty side of the scale.”

 "I can go as high as twelve, and offer you two hundred grand as a flat fee for storage and handling.“ She made her final offer.

 Geoff’s face twisted as he thought it over.

 "Well?” The woman urged.

 "Alright,“ Geoff extended his hand.

 She reached out to take it.

 Geoff quickly retracted his hand before she could shake it, "But,” He looked her in the eye, “That two hundred has to be lump sum, in cash, and up front. Deal?” He extended his hand once more.

 The woman hesitated but ended up taking his hand, “Deal.”

 Geoff leaned back in his chair with a smile, “So, let’s get down to business then.”

~*~

  _THUD, THUD, THUD._

 Ryan pulled his blanket tighter around himself and rolled over. He lay on his couch and tried to wedge himself up against the back cushions.

  _THUD, THUD, THUD._

 Ryan groaned but refused to open his eyes; whatever it was, it could fuck off.

  _Thud… THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD!_ The noise was now fervent.

 Ryan sat up violently, “WHAT?!” He shouted. He let his blanket fall as he brought his legs around to sit properly.

 "ANSWER YOUR FUCKING DOOR!“ Hollered a female voice from outside.

 Ryan didn’t recognise the voice.

 He stood and stretched. He was wearing an old t-shirt and boxers but wasn’t going to change just to shoo away some self-entitled nosy neighbour.

 He didn’t even know if he had neighbours here.

 Geoff was now his landlord. He had offered Ryan a large apartment in a far better location than his previous place, and Ryan had accepted. It was an industrial loft fashioned from an old radio factory, and even though the property had several apartments within it, Ryan had yet to see another resident.

 His new apartment was a large open space with a concrete floor and steel beams crisscrossing the ceiling. One whole wall down the entire length of his apartment was filled with little square windows that tiled together to create a much larger window. As a result the place was very well lit during the day, and a fishbowl at night.

 Curtains were at the top of Ryan’s to do list for the place. And it was a long to do list. The apartment had been unfurnished, and still was, unless Ryan’s curbside find of a couch counted as furnishing. He had yet to get a bed, shelving, dressers, or any sort of table. His clothing was in little folded piles behind the couch, and his laptop was charging up against a steel support beam that had a socket attached to it.

 Looking around it was painfully obvious how few belongings he really had - even all of his towels and dishware had come from a recent trip to the nearest Goodwill.

 Ryan scratched his midday stubble and made his way towards the door, "Coming!”

 He reached the heavy steel door and undid the deadbolt. Yawning he pulled it open, “Yeah?” He blinked and looked at the woman standing by his door.

 "Rude.“ The woman replied. She was younger than Ryan, wore thick black rimmed glasses and had vibrantly purple hair. Her head only came up to his shoulder height.

 "Who are you?” Ryan tried to get the last bits of sleep out of his head. Demon wasn’t helping by trying to go back to sleep and becoming irritated at all the sensory stimulus he now had to block.

 "So you’re Geoff’s new hire, huh?“ She cocked her head and tried to gauge his reaction, "I’m Meg.”

 The name was an itch at the back of his mind; he’d heard it somewhere before, “I’m sorry, how do you know me?”

 "Gavin told me about you. Says you’re ‘a right mental case’. So are you gonna let me in or what?“ Meg seemed to size him up.

 Ryan stepped aside and opened the door fully, allowing her to enter.

 Meg took a few steps in and looked displeased.

 Ryan locked the door again and saw her expression, "What?”

 "This is how you live?“ She put her hands on her hips and turned to him, "No wonder you’re disturbed.”

 "I’ve been here all of three days!“ Ryan protested and then calmed himself, "Why are you here? What do you want?”

 Demon was becoming interested; _She’s alone… in our apartment._

Ryan mentally hushed him.

 "Gavin said you’re Geoff’s new muscle, and I need some muscle.“ Meg walked over to the wall length window and looked out at the grey sky, "You up for that?”

  _She’s got her back to us._ Demon sank his claws into the floor of his mental prison. Bloodlust welled forth and he pressed himself against the walls containing him.

 "I wasn’t aware I was for hire…?“ Ryan crossed his arms and ignored Demon while shoving him back into his hole.

 Meg turned around and gestured at his apartment, "You’re basically homeless. I’d say you’re for hire.”

 "I’m not homeless…“ Ryan mumbled, but agreed that his apartment was a sorry sight.

 "How about this; you do this job for me, and I’ll fully decorate and furnish this place for you. It really is an awesome space, and seeing you squander it like this physically pains me.”

 "What is this job? And are you aware that Geoff hired me without any mafia – or whatever this is – background?“ Ryan asked, "I was on a road crew until just last week.”

 "What? Wait, so he just brought you into the business? Do you even know basic self defense? Magic?“ Meg waited for an answer and got a shrug, "It’s not a mafia by the way. Geoff runs a business, not a gang. I’m not part of it, but I know enough to be disappointed in his staffing decisions.” She tapped her foot and thought for a few seconds, “Can you at least _look_ mildly intimidating? I’m not digging this whole soccer dad look you have going.”

 Ryan looked down at his t-shirt and boxers, “What kind of soccer dad–”

 Meg cut him off, “You know what? I can work with this.” She approached him and poked at one of his biceps.

 Ryan pulled his arm away from her finger, “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

 "Tell me you have a suit, at least.“ Meg looked to Ryan and saw by his expression that he definitely did not ‘at least’ have a suit. She threw her hands up, "What the hell, man?!”

 "I’m not the one that pushed themselves into your apartment and started criticising everything!“ Ryan was getting flustered.

 Meg pushed up her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose, "Ok. I don’t have the time to find someone else, so we’re gonna have to make do.” She spotted the folded stacks of Ryan’s clothes and bee-lined straight for them, “There’s got to be something you own…” She faded off into thought and started going through his clothing.

 "Hey! That’s my shit!“ Ryan protested.

 "And shit it is.” Meg replied, “You need a makeover.”  

 Now it was Ryan’s turn to grab the bridge of his nose and close his eyes in an attempt to process what was going on, “What is it you want me to do?” He asked with his irritation clear.

 "I just need you as backup. Even if you’re useless, I’ll feel better if I’m not alone. If I could get you looking like someone not worth messing with it would be great, but I’ll work with what I’ve got. At least you have some muscle on you, so it’s not a total loss.“

 "Could you stop talking about me as if I’m not in the room? This isn’t how you make friends; much less friends you want to hire for some sort of protection.” Ryan told her.

 "Gavin said you’re crazy, so I was hoping you’d have some of that 'crazy eyes’ thing going on – you know, the kind of thing where you look at someone and just go 'whoa, he looks like the type that keeps his ex-girlfriends in a freezer’. Real twitchy an’ shit.“ Meg dug deeper into Ryan’s wardrobe.

  _I will show her all she wants to see._

"I’m not a bodyguard, and honestly don’t even know how Geoff plans to use me.” Ryan tried to explain.

  _Hate to break it to you, but Geoff hired_ me _and not your sorry ass. You’re only on payroll because he thinks you’re my keeper._ Demon told Ryan, and Ryan knew it was true. It was the conclusion they had both come to.

 "You don’t need to worry; I’m just the cautious type. If everything goes as I expect it will, this is basically just a paid field trip for you.“ Meg seemed to find a pair of pants she approved of and put them aside.

 "What if I refuse to do this? I don’t know you.” Ryan asked.

 Meg stopped her search and looked at him, “That would be fair, I guess.” She looked off into the distance and lost her cheery demeanor.

 Ryan waited for further answer.

 "I’d be alone and outnumbered… Easy to take advantage of…“ She spoke quietly, "Out in the dark… and cold… _defenseless_ …”

 Ryan rolled his eyes, “Do you really think I’m going to fall for that act?”

 Meg lifted an eyebrow and smiled, “Gavin does.” She pulled out a long sleeve shirt and tossed it next to the pants, “So do you want to help me or not?”

 Ryan thought about it. He had been stuck inside the last few days with nothing to do once he’d unpacked his car. That hadn’t even taken half a day.

 "Can you promise that I’m there only for moral support? No altercation expected?“ Ryan wanted her word.

 "Do you have a gun?” Meg abruptly asked.

 "No!“ Ryan looked concerned, "And if I should, then I’m not going!”

 "Nah, but it’s always nice to have one visible on the hip or something. Further deterrent.“

 ” _Who_ are you meeting with?!“

 Meg waved his question away, "Nobody dangerous. Like I said; I’m cautious.”

  _And I’m suspicious._

 Ryan had to agree with Demon there.

 "You going to give me an answer, Ryan?“

 Ryan was startled by the use of his name when he’d never introduced himself, "I’ll come with you to wherever to meet whoever.” He sighed, “But I will ditch if–”

 "Awesome! Thanks!“ Meg didn’t let him finish, "I’ll pick you up at five.” She bounced up onto her feet and slapped him on the shoulder, “See ya then!”

 "Bye…?“ Ryan watched as she undid his deadbolt and left the apartment.

  _And she’s gone._ Demon filled Ryan’s mind with disappointment.

  _Shut up._ Ryan inwardly snapped at Demon.

~*~

 It was a rainy and overcast afternoon. Geoff stood in front of Jack’s door waiting with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket. He’d rung the doorbell but it seemed Jack was taking his sweet time to get to him.

 He looked back over his shoulder at Jack’s small but very well maintained front yard. Jack had been the one to call him over, so what was taking him so long to answer the door?

 Geoff reached out once more and was ready to pound on the doorbell, but just before he made contact with the small illuminated button, the door was pulled open.

 "Geoff, I’m sorry about the short notice. Come on in and dry off.” Jack welcomed him in.

 Geoff stepped inside and removed his wet jacket and shoes, “So what is it? You sounded pretty concerned over the phone.”

 Jack led him down the hall, “I’ve found out what Ryan is.” He didn’t sound pleased.

 They entered Jack’s living room and it was far from its normal tidy self. His magical knickknacks were untouched but the coffee table and most of the floor were covered in books and printed out papers. There were take-out containers beneath the table and an open half empty pizza box on one couch. Jack’s laptop was on the other couch and the browser was open to at least thirty tabs.

 The TV was on and playing some kind of documentary at a low volume. The narrator was wearing a hard hat with a headlamp and was crouched next to a rock formation deep within a dark cave.

 Geoff’s curiosity was intense, but it was his concern that won out in the end, “Jack, what the fuck have you been doing? I gave you Matt and Jeremy specifically so that the research doesn’t kill you!”

 "I had Matt doing Ryan’s background checks, and Jeremy is single-handedly running all our appraisals while I focused on this.“ Jack explained.

 "Oh my God Jack, you’re going to kill the kid!” Geoff’s concern moved to Jeremy, “How many artefacts did you dump on him to appraise? Does he even know how to store half of them safely?”

 Jack lifted his hand to calm Geoff, “Don’t worry, I didn’t hand over anything too mean or volatile. He’s handling it really well and our clients like him.”

 Geoff’s worry lessened, “Ok.” He took a breath and sat himself down next to the half eaten pizza, “So what did you find out about Ryan?”

 "A lot.“

 "And?” Geoff just wanted answers.

 "Where do you want to start?“ Jack waved his hand over the mess in the room.

 Geoff looked at all the strewn research material. A clipped together pile of printed papers caught his eye.

 He pulled it over and flipped through without properly reading it, but he did catch a few words, "Huh.” it wasn’t really a question, “Flynt Hospital? He was there for six years? How are you in a hospital for _six years_?”

 Jack took a breath, “That’s because it’s not a regular hospital; it’s a high security mental institution.”

 Geoff’s eyes widened, “Oh.”

 "Yeah.“ Jack nodded, "And generally that’s why you do a background check _before_ you hire a person.”

 Geoff now looked at the papers with a renewed interest, “Released at twenty two for good behaviour and successful rehabilitation? Aren’t the criminally insane supposed to stand trial once they’re less insane? I mean obviously it’s Bad Ryan that’s the problem, but I don’t need to lose what little faith I still have in our legal system.”

 "The 'incident’ in question was when he was sixteen. They would have to try him as a minor. So instead they locked his records and had him put on parole.“ Jack explained.

 "Do I want to know what this 'incident’ was? That had him put in a high security institution for the criminally insane?”

 "You have his whole record there. I mean names have been removed and such, since he was a minor; but you’ll get the gist. Matt worked hard to get that. It was all locked and sealed. Hard copy only.“ Jack informed him.

 "Fuck.” Geoff swore and started digging. He found the information and began to read it out, “ _Age sixteen_ _,_ _patient Blank Blank has been decided to be moved to the higher security Flynt Hospital after endangering the lives of orderly Blank and security officer Blank. The patient has been living here at the Cloudin Institute for four years now. Lucid and intelligent, but unpredictability violent, young Blank has attempted escape in the past. All prior attempts were unsuccessful._ ” Geoff looked at Jack.

 "Keep reading.“ Jack told him.

 Geoff did so, ” _Holding orderly Blank hostage, the patient threatened her bodily harm and made his way past security. When guard Blank Blank attempted to halt his escape, the patient lashed out, injuring both guard Blank and the orderly Blank. The patient then fled the premises, while Blank and Blank had to be rushed to critical care due to deep defensive lacerations to the hands, arms, and chest._

_Four days later **patient Blank returned to Cloudin and turned himself in?!**_ What?!“

 "Ryan must have regained control by that point.” Jack hypothesised.

 "Poor kid.“ Geoff muttered, "Bad Ryan’s been fucking him over since forever, and he just lives with it now? What the fuck, I’d be livid!”

 "Based on those records, Ryan’s lived in some form of institution since he was twelve until the age of twenty two. Before that there’s no real records but he would not have been easy to live with. There’s a few unofficial school records of suspension and such for injuring classmates or lashing out at teachers.“ Jack stated.

 "And how about since that? Since his release at twenty two?” Geoff asked.

 "Nothing.“ Jack answered.

 "I don’t know whether that scares me more or less than him having a record.” Geoff shared.

 "Scares me more.“ Jack responded, "It means he’s gotten smart. And patient enough to wait for the ideal opportunity.”

 "So _what_ is Bad Ryan?“ Geoff was ready to know.

 "That’s the thing.” Jack paused and knew Geoff’s curiosity was burning a hole in him, but he had to be careful here, “It’s not Bad Ryan and Good Ryan; it’s just Ryan.”

 Geoff leaned back and let Jack continue.

 "And here’s where I tell you that I don’t think we should ever tell Ryan.“ Jack stood and grabbed a large open book from the floor, "Take a look.” He handed the book to Geoff.

 It took a moment for Geoff to translate the text, “A Grinning Vagabond?”

 "That’s a really direct translation, yes, but the accepted name is Smiling Stranger.“ Jack corrected him.

 "Ok, so what the hell is a Smiling Stranger? This text just sounds like a fear mongering 'don’t talk to strangers’ PSA.” Geoff attempted a smile.

 Jack gave a half-hearted smile back, “Yeah, well, it’s not totally off. And it’s part of the reason why identifying him was so difficult.

 See Ryan was raised human, by human parents. They put him through a human education and then human psychiatry. As a result it’s fucked him up; he doesn’t know how he should act or what he should feel. He thinks he’s human and fights everything that doesn’t fit with what he was taught.

 Which is only of benefit to us.”

 "What would happen otherwise…?“

 "Humans are prey to these things. He just doesn’t _know_ that’s what he’s supposed to do but his instincts still drive him to kill people.

 He’s been forced to personify these instincts as an 'other’ and I’m sure that years of heavy medication and therapy only made the whole thing worse.” Jack tried to explain his conclusion, “Smiling Strangers are supposed to be an ambush predator: completely undetectable by their prey. They are supposed to learn how to be human in order to survive and lure victims.”

 "He said he doesn’t eat people, and doesn’t have those kinds of urges.“ Geoff argued.

 "What do you know about cuckoos and cats?” Jack asked seemingly out of the blue.

 Geoff didn’t know what Jack was getting at but decided to humour him, “Cuckoos are birds and cats are assholes.”

 "Domestic cats are the leading non-environmental cause of extinction for many species worldwide. At least where there is no native small cat species naturally.“ Jack began.

 Geoff eyed him, "You better have a point, but ok.”

 Jack continued, “This is even though the majority of cats aren’t feral and are well fed. It’s just instinct.” He paused, “Hunting instinct drives them to play with prey until it’s dead and they can’t play with it anymore. Then they are left with a mangled corpse and have no idea what to do with it, because in their mind food is what comes from a can.”

 That had Geoff in thought, “Ok, so are we humans the dead cuckoo?”

 Jack shook his head, “No, the cuckoos are unrelated to the cat thing. But yeah Ryan’s victims would be like a mouse or bird. We’re what he _should_ be eating, but his artificial diet satisfies his needs well enough.”

 "So what’s with the mention of a cuckoo?“

 Jack scratched a sideburn, "Do you know how cuckoos raise their young?”

 "I’d assume it’s like any other bird, but the fact that you’re asking me, makes me think otherwise.“ Geoff shifted in his seat.

 "The answer is that they don’t.” Jack watched Geoff raise an eyebrow, “They’re parasites.”

 That had Geoff lean forward, “Explain before I freak the fuck out.”

 "They’re brood parasites; nothing like a tapeworm or whatever. You don’t have to worry.“ Jack quickly calmed Geoff.

 "So the crazy isn’t contagious?” Geoff wanted to confirm.

 "Not even remotely.“ Jack then continued his explanation, "What a cuckoo does is lay one of its eggs in the nest of another bird species and then the other parents believe the chick to be theirs and raise it as if it was.”

 "But humans don't– how…?“ Geoff wasn’t sure he wanted the answer.

 Jack shrugged, "That’s still unknown; we’re lucky to know even that much. These _things_ aren’t exactly easy to find, and are even harder to study. They tend to discover and kill anyone that follows them. The name itself betrays their nomadic nature; but that seems to be more out of necessity than desire.”

 "So we have a mentally unstable predator with an identity crisis working for us.“ Geoff stated and then nodded, "Honestly, I could have done worse.”

 "Really?“ Jack was surprised, "You’re okay with that?!”

 "You say a Smiling Stranger pretends to be human and friendly to lure in prey; well he isn’t pretending. As long as we keep him that way, we’re fine.“ Geoff explained, "He thinks he’s human? Then he’s human. I want you to find something that fits that, so we can tell him and keep him happy.”

 Jack was in agreement that this was their safest bet, but still did not like the idea of lying to Ryan, “Then we can be the only ones to know.”

 Geoff nodded.

 Jack sighed and looked to the mess he’d created in his room, “I just hope he doesn’t figure it out on his own. He thinks all his powers are exclusive to Demon, but I saw him use at least one without knowing he’d done so.”

 "Wait, when? What did he do?“ Geoff asked.

 "Nothing big, thankfully. I saw him break free of his bindings in a moment of fear when we were all being held captive after the barbecue drugging.”

 "His brain is pretty fucked up isn’t it?“ Geoff commented.

 "He thinks his powers are exclusive to Demon, so he can’t access them consciously. He literally had no idea how he’d broken free.

 Which makes me believe that if he ever did learn the truth-”

 "I get it, Jack; bad times for all.“ Geoff waved him away.

 Jack frowned, "You know that they traditionally eat the heart, right? Some even take the liver or brain as well.

 I just want you to know that.”

Geoff looked mildly disgusted, “Consider it now known.”

 Jack closed his laptop and put it aside. He lay down on his couch and rested his arm on his head, “I just hope the 'real’ Ryan isn’t Demon. The best scenario we can possibly hope for is that he’s an even blend of the two.”

 "Stuff like that takes years to correct itself; if it ever does. We keep quiet and he has no way of figuring out what he’s 'supposed’ to act like…“ Geoff grabbed a cold slice of the pizza next to him, "So whatever happened to the whole 'offering’ theory you had?”

 "Hmm? Oh, yeah. It still stands. The fuckers are smart and some set themselves up pretty well by demanding live sacrifices on a regular schedule. Basically forcing a village to choose who dies instead of having the Smiling Stranger decide it for them. There’s even an anecdote I found about a small town in Russia that tried to kill one. They thought they succeeded but then their whole town burned down that night. So that’s another thing; it’s unclear how to kill one.“

 "Let’s hope it never comes up.” Geoff said around the pizza in his mouth.

 "For someone who looks and dresses like a confused suburban father of two, he sure as hell is dangerous. I guess that just means his natural disguise is great at its job.“ Jack mused.

 "Jack if you don’t stop talking about it, it’s going to be really hard to keep the truth from him.” Geoff scolded.

 "I just don’t like that we haven’t seen him in five days.“ Jack explained.

 "He’s an adult. A criminally insane adult by our standards, but…” Geoff paused and tried to think of something.

 Jack raised his head to look at him, “But?”

 "I’ve got nothin’. Although from the texts I got a couple days ago he seemed to be unpacking and settling in to his new apartment. So he’s acting painfully normal.“ Geoff shrugged.

 "Still makes me nervous to have him out and about without supervision. The worst case scenario _literally_ being that he kills someone.”

 "Jack, I hired him to kill people.“ Geoff told him and threw the crust from his pizza slice back into the box, "And don’t act like you haven’t. I mean _you_ might not eat them, but your critters do. It’s like indirect consumption.”

 Jack pouted, “Not even remotely the same.”

 "Sure.“ Geoff crossed his arms, "Whatever lets you sleep at night.”

 They sat in silence for a few minutes with the documentary playing quietly in the background.

 Jack cleared his throat, “I still think we should check on Ryan. Maybe keep him on a shorter leash.”

 "Because that won’t make him suspicious or prickly.“ Geoff rolled his eyes.

 Jack removed his glasses and rubbed his face, "You’re the one renting him his new place.” He replaced his glasses, “Be a nosy landlord; use the excuse of caring what happens on your property. I don’t know.”

 "Would it make you feel better if I did?“ Geoff asked with an air of frustration.

 "It would, yeah.”

 Geoff sighed and pulled out his phone.

 "Thank you.“ Jack said and Geoff mumbled something in response.

~*~

 “Oh my fucking god, Ryan! For the last time you look fine!” Meg scolded him and stomped her foot.

 “I look like a douche!” Ryan argued, “I didn’t even know I owned clothing this tight!”

 “That’s because you seem to be living out some suburban aesthetic fantasy where you need to pick up the kids from school every day so you can come home to your wife for a meatloaf dinner!” Meg shouted at him.

 Ryan crossed his arms and looked away, “What’s wrong with that?” he grumbled.

 Meg gestured to his body, “This is what jeans are _supposed_ to look like on you. The shirt I’ll admit is a _little_ tight– but I need you showing that muscle if you’re going to be my fake muscle. Ya dig?” She snapped her fingers loudly to make her point.

 “I’m feeling used.” Ryan complained and Demon had to agree.

 “Oh hush!” Meg waved his complaint away, “Come on, let’s get going.” She marched straight to his apartment door and heaved it open.

 Ryan followed and took the door from her as she hurried out into the hall. She quickly made her way down the concrete stairs and to the main door on the first floor. After ensuring his door was locked Ryan found himself having to break into a half jog to catch up with her.

 “Hurry up!” She called back to him.

 After taking the stairs two at a time, Ryan jogged down the industrial hall and out the main door being held open by Meg.

 “My car’s around back.” Ryan gestured to the back of the building.

 “I said I was picking you up; I’m not making you drive.” Meg smiled, “Come here.” She waved him closer.

 “Where did you par– _ack!_ ” Ryan’s words caught in his throat as Meg grabbed the back of his upper arm. The instant she made contact with him his world violently spun. His vision became a whirlwind of colour for a full second before becoming solid once more.

 Ryan staggered, completely off balance. He swayed and fought some of the most disorienting vertigo he’d ever experienced, until he fell down onto his hands and knees.

 “What?!” He managed to ask before flopping over down onto the ground. He noticed the ground was soft, and his fingers wrapped around damp grass. The sky overhead was black and dotted with dim stars, which only disoriented Ryan further. It had been an overcast evening just seconds earlier.

 Standing over him, Meg leaned into his field of view, “You alright?”

 “What the fuck was that?! Where are we?!” Ryan pushed himself up.

 “You never warp anywhere before?!” Meg said it like it was a commonplace mode of transport, “I brought us where we need to be.”

 “Warp?” Ryan finally regained enough balance to stand, “And where are we?”

 Meg looked at him and moonlight reflected off of her glasses. She smirked with realization, “You have no experience with magic do you? How did Geoff manage to find you?”

 Ryan wiped his hands off on his pants, “I tend to avoid any type of person who looks even remotely magically inclined. Which is unfortunate seeing who I work for now.”

Demon was now far less interested in trying to kill her if she knew magic. It was always far too high a risk and difficulty whenever magic got involved.

 “Pretty damn unfortunate!” Meg laughed, “You have somehow found the worst group of people to be associated with if you don’t like magic.” She lightly punched his arm, “You doing alright now?”

 “Yeah, I’m good. Thanks.” Ryan mumbled, then asked, “Are you going to finally tell me where we are and who we’re meeting?”

 Meg sighed, “I get you’re new to this – trust me I get that, and it’s painfully obvious now – so here’s some advice: avoid asking questions. It looks bad. Just be flexible and go with whatever, be ready for whatever.”

 “That’s not how I do things. I like to know what I’m getting into.” Ryan argued.

 “Yeaaahhhh… Geoff is gonna beat that out of you pretty quick.” Meg replied, “But I’ll be better than Geoff; we’re just here for a quick meeting. Not even a talk; should be short. As for where we are, we’re in a park in Bristol.”

 “Bristol?” Ryan took a better look at his surroundings. It was cool and the air was wet, tall leafy trees bordered the area and beyond them the park was surrounded by roads and buildings. The architecture was different here than what you would normally see in Austin. It was much older and … _European?_

 Ryan spun around to look at the nearest street. Sure enough the next car that passed wore the thin rectangular licence plate found only overseas.

 “Are we in England?!” Ryan shouted in disbelief.

 “Oh calm down. Yes, England.” Meg confirmed, “By the way, how are you with animals?”

 “I’m fine with animals, but why are we in the UK?” Ryan still wanted an answer.

 “Don’t worry about it.” Meg began walking down across the grass towards the park fence. She looked back over her shoulder at Ryan to ensure he was following. He was.

 She led him out of the park and out onto the sidewalk. They traversed the narrow street between the tightly packed homes. It was early in the night, but foot traffic was sparse.

 Ryan looked at the graffiti scrawled across fences and building sides. There was the occasional window boarded up, and even in the streetlight it was clear that the general state of the area was one of disrepair. He was feeling uncomfortable, but saw that Meg appeared unaffected.

 Meg looked to him and saw how uncomfortable he felt, “This is why I wanted you with me. I didn’t want to have to deal with a mugging.”

 “Well I don’t want to deal with one either…” Ryan replied, “And wouldn’t this be something that Gavin should be helping you with?”

 “I’m getting a gift for him and I want it to be a surprise.” Meg smiled fondly at the thought, “Besides Gavin would only end up robbing a mugger blind, probably before any actual mugging and then it would just be a mess.

 Also, in case you haven’t noticed, he’s more target than deterrent for those kinds of things.”

 “You do have a point.” Ryan had to agree, and was feeling calmer knowing that his purpose wasn’t so much bodyguard as travel companion. Still if anything did happen, he’d hardly be much help. Ryan changed the topic away from crime, “So what kind of gift requires travelling half way around the world?”

 Meg chuckled, “In this case it does.” She saw that Ryan appeared genuinely interested, so she decided to share, “Gavin’s been getting jealous of Penny lately – Penny’s my dog, and my familiar. I think that’s making him feel lonely and a little left out, even if he’d never admit it.

 So I decided to get him a familiar of his own. I mean he’s no witch, and the magic he knows is all mostly illusionary stuff, but I figure,” She shrugged, “Why the fuck not? Ya know? Familiars don’t have to be exclusive to witchcraft, right?”

 “I honestly don’t know enough about the topic to agree or disagree with you here.” Ryan commented but smiled.

 Meg laughed, “Yeah, definitely.” She then continued, “See the thing with familiars is they have to be born on the same soil you were; or at least in the same general area. Otherwise you can’t be bonded. So for Gavin…”

 “…It has to be an animal from England.” Ryan finished the sentence for her.

 “Yeah. So that’s why we’re here. Also I didn’t want him to have a lame familiar, and I figured if I get to choose one for him, it’s gonna be something half decent. Did some digging through classifieds and now we’re going to get his new best friend.”

 “Why didn’t you just tell me this earlier? Instead you had me thinking I’m going to have to expect a fight or even kill someone. I would have been fully on board to get Gavin a pet.” Ryan told her.

 “Ok first of all; _a familiar is not a pet._ ” Meg stuck up a finger, “As for everything else,” She appeared slightly embarrassed, “And I honestly thought you wouldn’t be interested otherwise. I thought you were a… well… thug? Or like hitman? Not just some guy who clearly has no idea what is going on.”

 “Thanks, I think?” Ryan wasn’t sure how to respond.

 “You’re also not crazy.” Meg added, “Gavin was off on that one.”

 “Not entirely.” Ryan rubbed the back of his neck and mumbled the words.

 “Then you’re well-adjusted enough.” Meg waved his words away, “So what is your story? How did you end up a part of the mess that is Geoff and the gang?”

 “Uh, well, you know… Shit happens.” Ryan didn’t feel like sharing.

 “You’re not being blackmailed, are you?” Meg grabbed his arm with both hands, “Because if Geoff is holding you hostage, I will fuck him up for you. Hardcore.”

 “Oh no, no, it’s not like that – I mean they did kidnap me, but it’s not like that.” Ryan shook his head.

 Meg let go of his arm, “They kidnapped you?!”

 “It was a misunderstanding of sorts, and then we all got drugged and dragged into Geoff’s business and it was all a big mess. He really offered me the job because he didn’t want further trouble, or, you know, me going to the cops.” Ryan felt that gave enough vague information to keep her happy without actually revealing anything.

 “Christ. That explains a lot.” Meg paused, “If you ever want to learn anything about magic, more specifically witchcraft, just let me know. It’s going to be a bit of an experience for you.”

 Ryan smirked, “Well you could start with why we’re walking so far if you’re capable of teleportation.”

 Meg gave him a joking push aside, “Because I like to walk, you dummy.” She laughed, “But in all seriousness, if you warp somewhere where there might be people, you can get fined. It’s a safety hazard.”

 “Is that the whole thing where people end up being violently thrown to the ground?” Ryan asked, “I think it’s been on the news.”

 Meg nodded, “Yeah, warping is far safer than actually teleporting by a long shot, but the dimensional fabric kind of recoils like a launched rubber band, and that can push things around. But only if they’re too close.” She explained.

 “Actually teleporting?” Ryan picked up on the distinction.

 “With warping there’s no dematerialisation and re-materialisation. That makes it far safer; you can’t end up in a wall or something. Warping warps the actual space around you making any distance a tiny fraction of what it actually is. The better you are at it, the smaller you can make that distance.” Meg elaborated.

 “Ah.” Ryan nodded, “So that’s what that nauseating nightmare was.”

 “Oh it wasn’t _that_ bad.” Meg responded, “It’s mostly just because you weren’t expecting it.”

 “Then a warning would have been nice.”

 “Don’t be such a baby.” Meg ended the conversation with that as she stopped in front of a residential home. With Ryan close behind she took the two steps up to the door and rung the bell.

 There was a few seconds of quiet and then shuffling and rattling as the door was unlocked. A woman with messy brown curls haphazardly tied up on top of her head opened the door to greet them.

 “Here ‘bout the litter?” She asked in a heavy Bristol accent.

 “Yeah, I’m Meg, I emailed you.”

“Come in then. Get warm and pick one.” The woman gestured for them to enter.

 The woman led them down the narrow wallpapered hall to the kitchen at the back of the house.

 “’Ere they are. Free t'a good home.”

 Ryan smiled. There was a litter of eight cream and chocolate Siamese kittens milling about around their mother on a bunch of blankets.

 “Aww look at these precious babies.” Meg cooed and crouched down to look at them closer.

 “They’re just poofs of fluff.” He crouched down to join her, “So how do you choose?”

 “It’s always the hardest part; I could take all of them home, they’re so cute.” Meg made her hand into a claw in order to play with one kitten that had rolled over to reveal its belly. It playfully swatted and kicked at her hand.

 “I meant for Gavin.” Ryan clarified.

 “Oh I know what you meant.” Meg gave another coo at a kitten that tried to jump and catch her hair, “We’ll want a kitten that can keep up with him. Find the higher energy ones.”

 “Meg, I don’t think there’s such a thing as a low energy kitten.” Ryan chuckled and pet the two kittens forcing their way into his lap.

 “Aye, but that little one there,” The woman pointed one out, “He’s the troublemaker. Gets into everything and knocks everything over, curious as all hell.”

 Indeed the kitten she pointed out was pulling his mother’s tail, who had to turn around and swat him away. It only temporarily deterred him, and he was back at it almost instantly.

 Meg grabbed the little troublemaker, “I think you’ll do.” She turned to the woman, “I’ll take him.”

 The woman smiled and nodded.

 “Here hold him for a sec.” Meg passed the kitten to Ryan.

 Ryan cradled the small fluff ball.

 Meg searched through her purse and pulled out a small harness and lead. With Ryan holding the kitten steady, she securely fastened the harness. She wrapped the lead tightly around her hand and took the kitten back.

 “Now we can carry you without worry.” She told the kitten.

 She and Ryan stood and thanked the woman. They let her lead them back out and said farewell.

 Ryan used a finger to pet the kitten now cradled in Meg’s arms, when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He fished it out.

 “I wouldn’t answer; it’ll be long distance.” Meg advised him.

 Ryan looked at the name, “It’s Geoff.” He answered anyway.

 “Hey Geoff… I’m out… No… I’m not.” Ryan was beginning to sound flustered, “No one is– Calm down. I’m with Meg… Yes… She’s fine…” He paused and blushed, “Uh, England.”

 Ryan winced and had to pull the phone an inch away from his ear as Geoff had a fit.

 “Wow; tell Geoff you’re a grown man and he isn’t your babysitter.”  Meg had extrapolated what the conversation was about.

 Ryan made an expression of intense agreement with her statement but wasn’t going to pass it on to Geoff, “Yeah, we’re heading back… In a few minutes… Yeah… See you there.” He let out a long exhale and hung up.

 Meg couldn’t help but laugh.

 “Is he always like that or am I a special case?” Ryan asked her and they began walking back towards the park.

 “Oh it only gets worse the more he cares about you. He won’t ever admit it but his employees are his family and there’s nothing he cares about more than them. You might be new, but a little bit of that still extends to you, and it will only increase.”

 “He hardly knows me; I’m sure his concern is less about my wellbeing as it is about my actions.” Ryan stated and then hoped Meg wouldn’t ask for an explanation.

 She didn’t, instead she shrugged, “It has to start somewhere.”

 The kitten began to cry out.

 “Oh it’s OK sweetheart, I know you want your mommy. Shhhh.” She cuddled him closer.

 “Hey little guy, you’ll be at your new home soon.” Ryan softly told him.

 The didn’t have much of a conversation on the way back. The new kitten was the topic of talk and he took their full attention.

 With the kitten keeping them company, the trip back to the park felt much shorter. Reaching a nice grassy patch Meg grabbed Ryan’s forearm again.

 “Get ready.” She warned him this time and warped them back to Austin with Ryan’s apartment directly in front of them.

 The kitten’s cries got louder after the ordeal of the warp and Meg quickly worked to calm him.

 Ryan swayed and staggered over the wall of the old factory. He braced himself against the brickwork and took a moment to regain his bearings.

 “Men.” Meg shook her head with a wide smile.

 “Just give me a second.” Ryan protested, “I just need to figure out which way is up.”

 “I don’t think Geoff is going to give you that second.” Meg commented and subtly pointed her thumb.

 Geoff had exited the building and was making his way over to where the two of them were standing. His pace was brisk and his face was stern.

 “Oh come on.” Ryan whined and pushed himself up to stand straight.

  _Here comes the fun police._ Demon groaned.

 “Meg!” Geoff shouted to Ryan’s surprise, “What the fuck, man? You can’t just co-opt my people!”

 “Co-opt? He’s a grown man capable of going where he pleases, when he pleases. I just asked for his company.” Meg responded.

 “No you don’t understand, he’s dangerous – is that a cat?” Geoff shook his head to get back on topic, “He’s possessed, Meg. You can’t just be alone with him, and much less drag him around with you to wherever.”

 “What part of me being the one in control is so hard to understand?” Ryan asked angrily.

 Geoff was not going to divulge what Jack had found, so he bit down his reply.

 “Dude, did you forget I’m a witch?! Demons and spirits are like lesson number one, and I can tell you right now that this man is not possessed.” Meg argued.

 “Well we don’t know _exactly_ what it is, but the man hears voices and hurts people.” Geoff flailed his arms in Ryan’s direction, “He doesn’t need to add cat burglary to his repertoire!”

 “It’s only one voice, and technically it’s not like I _hear_ it.” Ryan quietly corrected him.

 “Oh my God, Geoff. He’s fine. And this cat is adopted, not stolen. I just wanted some company, that’s all!” Meg told him.

 “Pick better company!” Geoff retorted, “And he is _not_ fine!”

 “Geoff, calm down.” Ryan pleaded, and swallowed his own anger at what was being said about him.

 Geoff turned on Ryan, “I AM CALM!”

 That made Ryan release his anger, “And I’m not rabid! Or some wild animal!” He crossed his arms, “I don’t need a babysitter, or policing, so back off!”

 Geoff took a step back and shook his head, “Yeah, and how different would this conversation be if Bad Ryan _had_ made an appearance? You’d be loose across the ocean and no one would even know where you’d gone!”

 “ _’I’d be loose’_?!” Ryan uncrossed his arms and stepped forward, “What exactly do you think I am?! I am not Demon, and he does not define me!”

 Geoff put his hands up between himself and Ryan, realising his misstep, “I’m sorry I said that, but please see it from my point of view. You _disappeared,_ Ryan. What else would I assume? Especially after hearing all of Jack’s latest theories. None of them are good, Ryan, none.”

 Ryan calmed but was still offended, “OK. And for future reference; I can usually predict a little before when Demon is going to steal control. I’d warn you as best I can at the time.”

 “Definitely no demons involved.” Meg interjected.

 “He just calls him Demon.” Geoff told Meg and then turned back to Ryan, “OK. I’m glad that’s settled. I came here because we have a new job, and I want you to see how it all works.”

 “Oh?” Ryan was surprised.

 “Let’s talk inside, maybe?” Geoff tilted his head towards the door.

 “See you, Ryan. Sorry about creating this shitstorm for you.” Meg apologised.

 “You had no way of knowing.” Ryan accepted the apology.

 Meg smiled and vanished into thin air with a gentle _pop._

 “She’s serious trouble.” Geoff muttered to Ryan and started towards the door.

 “I think she’s nice.” Ryan told him.

 Geoff gave a sharp laugh and entered the building, “Sure, buddy, but that doesn’t mean she’s not trouble. If I don’t stop her now you’ll be spending more time working for her than you do me.”

 They made their way to the second floor.

 “What did she pay you anyway?” Geoff was curious as to what she had offered him.

 “Interior decorating.” Ryan smiled and walked around Geoff to unlock his door.

 “That’s code for tossing out half of what you own.” Geoff stepped inside Ryan’s apartment and his eyes widened, “Or it would be if you actually fucking owned any shit!”

 “I always moved a lot.” Ryan closed the door and walked over to the kitchen area, “So I never owned much.”

 Geoff scoffed; _and I bet being institutionalised didn’t help that either._

 “So what has Jack found?” Ryan poured himself a glass of water from the tap.

 Geoff walked over and dropped himself onto Ryan’s threadbare couch, “He’s exhausted his list of things capable of possession, and is now on parasites.” Geoff heard Ryan choke and cough. When he turned he saw that the front of Ryan’s shirt was now wet.

 “Parasites?!” Ryan’s voice increased in pitch and he froze in place.

  _I am not a damn parasite!_ Demon also wasn’t fond of the idea.

 “Well, yeah. We need to figure this out and that’s where we are right now.” Geoff watched Ryan grab a dishcloth and wipe the spat up water off of the floor.

 Ryan tossed the cloth onto the counter of the kitchen island, “Better hope it’s not fucking contagious then.”

 “We did look into your history, and figure that if it was contagious then at least one other person you’d been interred with would have developed similar… symptoms.” Geoff wasn’t sure how to say it.

 “So you know about my confinement then, huh?”

 “In great legal detail.” Geoff nodded, “Why didn’t you mention it?”

 “Not exactly something that comes up in conversation.” Ryan eluded the question.

 “Well it should when the people are actively trying to help you, and are asking about your past.”

 Ryan sighed and rested his hands on the counter, “People have been trying to help me my whole life. They’ve only ever done more damage than good. So sorry if I assumed you guys were the same.

 There’s only really two ways these things have ever played out: either they hurt me, or I hurt them.”

 “Man, do you have issues.” Geoff chuckled, “But in all seriousness; Jack and I have been talking about it and we think that not only was being institutionalised bad for you, it was bad for Demon too.”

 Ryan nodded, “Undoubtedly.”

 “And we think it’s only going to make our research harder as neither you or Demon are living life naturally, and are instead living it how you’ve been told to do so. So our observations are all shit.” Geoff was satisfied that that explanation would buy Jack the time to find a plausible alternative to what Ryan was. It wasn’t like he was lying to Ryan, just using the truth to point him elsewhere.

 “I never thought of it that way…” Ryan faded off into thought, “Bit of an identity crisis for both of us.”

  _We never even considered it… This may change things; why do we do what we do?_

 Geoff gave Ryan a moment to his thoughts and then decided it best to interrupt, “Anyway, about the job: the whole reason I’m here.”

 Ryan looked up at Geoff but still appeared deep in his thoughts.  

 “Hey, gonna need you to focus here!” Geoff snapped his fingers until Ryan looked at him with his full attention.

 “Sorry.” Ryan mumbled as he ran his fingers through his hair, “Before we start, would you like anything? I only really have water, milk, and diet coke, but if you’d like some…?”

 “No, I’m good, thanks.” Geoff shook his head. He then gestured for Ryan to sit down next to him on the couch.

 Ryan put his now empty cup into the sink and made his way over. He sat himself down on the arm of the couch so he could at least partially face Geoff.

 “So what’s up?” Ryan prompted Geoff to start.

 “Ever hear of the Eyes of Anubis?” Geoff asked.

 “I know Anubis is an Egyptian god of death, but that’s it.” Ryan shrugged.

 “Well the Eyes are these two carved balls of lapis and are said to be pretty heavily cursed. They’re supposed to be in a museum in Cairo, but we were approached by someone claiming to have stolen them.

 It’s a personal policy of mine not to sell fakes, so it’s all hands on deck tonight to get these things appraised. If they’re legit then it’s going to be quite the pay-out.” Geoff summarised.

 “And you want me to learn the business, otherwise I normally wouldn’t be present for an appraisal?”

 Geoff shrugged, “Your choice honestly; but this time, yeah. It’s a seriously high value item and your first job with us, so yeah.”

  _How eloquent._ Demon remarked in regards to Geoff.

 “OK. Cool… We don’t have to worry about the whole ‘cursed’ part do we?” Ryan was feeling apprehensive.

 “Nah, just don’t touch anything and you should be fine. Jack and Jeremy are the only ones that ever get close to our cursed items, and they’re almost always alright afterwards.”

 “That’s not at all comforting.” Ryan muttered.

 Geoff chuckled, “What, you want to sign a waiver or something? There’s risks to any job; ours just happens to include the occasional ancient Egyptian curse.”

 “So where and when is this appraisal?” Ryan asked.

 “We should be there already, and as for where, I can just give you a ride.” Geoff stood.

 “Not going to warp?” Ryan was curious.

 “Hell no. I only ate like an hour ago.” Geoff replied, “I want to keep my meal.”

 Ryan couldn’t argue that.

 “My truck’s in the back lot. Grab anything you think you might need and let’s head out.” Geoff ordered.

 Ryan only really needed his phone and that was already on him, “I’m good.”

 “Let’s rock.” Geoff pointed to the door.

 They left the apartment and made their way to Geoff ‘s truck. It was a grey Ford pickup in great condition; a considerable contrast to Ryan’s old beat up sedan only a few spots away.

 With a polite boop the doors unlocked and they climbed in before setting off.

 Geoff turned out of the parking lot and onto the street. He took a glance at Ryan before looking back to the road.

 “So does Demon hate me, or are we alright?” He asked meekly.

 Ryan shrugged, “You didn’t exactly win him over with your taunting.”

 “Sure, but like, he wasn’t being…” Geoff tried to think of the word and failed, “Nice.”

 Ryan laughed, “We were trapped and you took advantage of it; you’re barely on _my_ good side.”

 Geoff snorted, “But hopefully you won’t try and kill me in my sleep.”

  _There goes that plan._ Demon joked.

 Ryan stifled a laugh but Geoff still noticed it, “What did he say?!”

 “He said: ‘There goes that plan’. He was joking, by the way.” Ryan explained.

 Geoff gave a half smile, “So he does have a sense of humour, huh?”

 “Not the kind most people would appreciate, but sometimes it lines up.”

 Geoff took a left at some lights, “Out of curiosity, I’d like to actually be able to talk to him at some point. Safely, of course, but without the vinegar that comes with having you trapped.”

 “That’s asking a lot. Not impossible, just improbable. He gets free so rarely that he isn’t going to want to spend that time talking to you. He generally has other things he wants to get done.” Ryan knew that Geoff would understand just what those things were.

 Geoff sighed, “Yeah you’re probably right… Do I at least gain any brownie points for having hired you?”

  _Depends whether you keep your end of the bargain. We’ll see; maybe I can make a friend after all._ Demon answered and Ryan relayed it to Geoff.

 “No pressure, right?” Geoff laughed but it was hollow.

 “Just remember my part; self-defence only.”

 “And I’m sure Demon 100% agrees.” Geoff was sarcastic.

 “Who cares if he does?” Ryan asked rhetorically.

 “I fuckin’ care, because I’m the one who’s going to have to deal with his protests. I will tell you right now that the only ‘control’ over his actions is going to be from you. I will not get in the way of y– him and his prey.” Geoff quickly corrected the slip.

 “You were going to say ‘you’ weren’t you?” Ryan had noticed.

 “I’m sorry, but I _am_ talking to you both: pronouns be damned he’s in the room too.” Geoff tried to justify.

  _I think someone is picking up on how less than reluctant you are to stop me, Rye. When will you admit it? It’s so obvious that someone who’s basically a stranger is sensing it._

_Shut the fuck up, Demon._ Ryan demanded.

 Geoff pulled off to the side of the street directly in front of an abandoned storefront. The windows were covered in newspapers to prevent anyone gazing inside and there was a large “FOR LEASE” sign hanging by the door.

  _Remember what Geoff told us, Rye: we don’t know how to act. What if your reluctance is merely how you believe you’re supposed to act and not how you are_ meant _to?_

 “This the place?” Ryan looked to the shop.

  _Not all men are saints… Maybe you’re just a bad person playing at good?_

 Geoff nodded, “Yep. I can park right in front, ‘cause people think I’m just a contractor checking the place out.”

 They hopped out of his truck and entered the store.

 Inside was a bunch of trestle tables with strange tools both arcane and mundane set up on them. On a table in the centre of the room was mounted a large illuminated magnifying lens.

 Jack was seated at this central table, and was peering through the lens at a blue sphere the size of a baseball. A second sphere was safely nuzzled within foam in a large metal case next to his workspace. He carefully manipulated the sphere he was inspecting using rubberised tongs and forceps.

 Jeremy stood next to Jack and was watching him work intently, while an unknown woman with brown hair and hazel eyes sat across the table. She too watched intently, but her face betrayed that her interest was more protective than curious.

 Jack spoke without looking up from his work, “Decided to show up finally?”

 “Ryan wasn’t home when I arrived.” Geoff replied.

 Jack gently put down his tools and turned to look at Geoff and Ryan. His glasses had been replaced by a pair with multiple lenses that could be flipped up and down over his eyes, and he had to flip a few away in order to clearly see the two.

 “Oh?” He asked.

 “Meg.” Was all Geoff said.

 “Oh.” It was all the explanation Jack needed.

 “Ryan met Meg?” Jeremy tilted his head. He looked at Ryan as Jack picked up his tools again.

 “Yeah.” Ryan shrugged with one shoulder.

  _Why continue to deny yourself; denying what might be your very nature. Rye, why suffer?_

 Ryan was doing his best not to focus on what Demon was saying, and hoped it didn’t show.

 “I like her; she’s a lot of fun.” Jeremy smiled.

  _Life is short, why allow others to dictate its path? What, do you really think all those clueless doctors could possibly ever know you like I do? I feel everything you do. I know your every thought._

 “Yeah, she is.” Ryan forced himself to smile back.

  _We’ve been living a lie, and you_ know _it. Are you honestly going to fight me on this in order to continue being miserable?_

 “So Jack, what exactly are you looking for?” Geoff leaned in over Jack’s shoulder.

  _I know you’re not happy, and this is clearly why. Humanity has done nothing but fuck us up. Torture us, examine us, experiment on us._

 “First I want to see if I find any seams or markings that would come from more modern tools, or hint that this isn’t one solid piece like it should be.” Jack explained.

  _You may be in control of us, but are you really in control of you?_

“Then I’ll start checking out the curse work.” Jack added.

  _Seems like everyone else has more say over your actions than you do. Why is that? Why allow this? Your frustration does nothing but build._

“That’s always the fun part.” Jeremy chuckled.

  _Isn’t it time you let some of it out? It’s rotting us from the inside out; vent. Set us free. Take control._

“No.” Ryan said with determination.

 Everyone looked at him perplexed.

 “I didn’t mean it was literally fun; just that it’s always a bit of an endeavour.” Jeremy tried to explain himself.

 “Sorry, not you… I’m just– never mind.” Ryan shook his head.

 Jack and Geoff appeared concerned, but Jack continued his work.

 Geoff approached him and asked quietly, “Is this that warning you were talking about?”

    _If you won’t take control, I will!_

 “It wasn’t, but now it might be.” Ryan spoke quickly but quietly.

 “Might?!!” Geoff squeaked.

 “Just let me focus on beating him back down.” Ryan gestured downwards with his hand.

 “And if you lose?!”

 “Well then you’re going to get your wish.” Ryan closed his eyes and took a breath. He leaned up against the wall for support.

 “What’s wrong with that guy?” The woman asked.

 “Nothing.” Jack replied but still glanced over his shoulder at them.

 “Ryan…” Geoff moved to stand beside him, “You promised you had this under control.”

 Ryan took a long deep breath, “I do.” He opened his eyes and stood straight, “Can I grab some air?”

 “Sure, whatever you need.” Geoff pat him on the shoulder.

 Ryan returned the gesture, “Thanks.” He walked around Geoff and out the front door.

 “We all good?” Jeremy asked with some worry.

 “Yeah we all–” Geoff’s head snapped in the direction of the storefront as they all heard an engine starting.

 Geoff pat down his pockets and was unable to find his keys.

 “MY TRUCK!” He screeched and dashed out the door.

 Jeremy ran after Geoff, and Jack jumped to his feet nearly flipping his table.

 Geoff ran to the curb in time to see his truck round a corner out of sight. A constant stream of profanity was pouring from his lips.

 Pushing Jeremy aside he stomped back into the shop, “THAT MOTHERFUCKER STOLE MY–” he stopped and took a sharp inhale.

 Jack looked disappointed in himself and was looking down at his hand. In his right hand he held the sphere of lapis.

 “I hit the table and it was going to fall… so I caught it.” Jack appeared in disbelief over the situation.

 “Oh _shit._ ” Geoff approached and put his hand on his shoulder comfortingly.

 The woman seemed apprehensive, “I know how the curse works, but would still like that back.”

 “If he lets go of it he’ll die. So unless you want him to pass the curse on to you to free himself, I suggest you calm down.” Geoff was short with her.

 “You could just–” The woman began to propose.

 Jeremy interrupted, “What? Cut off his hand?” he scoffed, “If he hands it off to you, I’ll gladly explore that option.”

 “Nobody is cutting anyone’s hand off.” Jack told them, “I’ll figure this out.”

 “Just hand it to her: pass the curse on.” Jeremy suggested.

 “No! You may not be convinced of their veracity but I am, and I will not be cursed by them!” The woman shouted.

 “You did say you wanted it back.” Geoff smirked at Jeremy.

 “Guys, calm down. I’m not dooming anyone. Just let me think. In the mean time, someone should really go after Ryan. I’ll be fine.”

 “OK, I get what you’re saying, but this I care about a bit more than my truck.” Geoff argued.

 “Your truck?” Jack was incredulous, “He’s going to kill someone! And it will be linked to you! Directly!”

 Geoff seemed to suddenly understand, “Shit, fuck, you’re right. Jeremy, hold down the fort here. I need to track down Ryan.” He pulled out his phone, “Hey OnStar?”

 “Take my car and track him down.” Jack used his free hand to fish his keys out of his pocket. He tossed them to Geoff who caught them.

 Geoff gave Jack a thankful nod and left the store still on his call, “No, not stolen, I just can’t find it… Yeah, just need the rough location. Thanks.”

~*~

 Geoff drove Jack’s black SUV and peered at every lot and road he passed. There were only so many places Ryan could hide his truck within the 500-foot radius he’d been given by OnStar.

 He almost missed it. It was parked behind a dumpster overflowing with construction waste. The building it was next to was being completely gutted and only the outside shell remained.

 For the night the place was abandoned, but Geoff would bet a significant amount of money that Ryan was inside.

 He pulled up and parked behind his truck to prevent Ryan dashing off with it again. Slamming the door behind him, he rushed over to inspect the truck for any damage.

 There was a piece of paper stuck under the wiper.

 “If he got me a ticket, I fucking swear…” Geoff grumbled and grabbed it. It turned out to be a note.

_Congratulations on tracking me down Sherlock, I bet using the GPS to find me took every brain cell you’ve got. I’m in the building. You said you wanted to talk, so let’s talk._

Geoff pouted and crumpled up the paper as tightly as he could.

 “Asshole motherfucking cunt bitch dick shit!” Geoff shouted and stomped his foot. He quickly glanced over both of his shoulders and threw the note into the dumpster before approaching the fence around the building.

 He didn’t have to search long to find the entrance and slipped in onto the property. The first door he came upon was unlocked, and although that set off his paranoia he still stepped inside.

 The interior was gutted out. Only the framing remained and it was clear that fresh plumbing and electrical was being put in. There was no sheet rock on the ceiling and no flooring. The place was bare.

 It was also dark. Plastic had been taped to the windows to protect them from dust and paint. It still let light through, but it was a dull diffuse glow from the streetlights outside.

 Geoff was only able to see vague outlines and knew that any shadow could be hiding his Smiling Stranger. He rather not have to deal with a surprise attack.

 Slipping his fingers down the collar of his t-shirt he touched his tattoo of a tiger. It’s eyes momentarily glowed yellow. Geoff’s pupils became slit and his irises turned a golden honey.

 Now the building wasn’t too dark for him; it was comfortably bright. Of course it came with the minor inconvenience of colour blindness, but in return the shadows held no secrets.

 Unable to spot Ryan, he decided it was best to make his presence known, “Hey asshole!” there was no response, “Ryan!”

 Geoff went silent as he heard the floorboards creak above. Someone had moved.

 “Took you long enough to get here: I had to find myself someone to help me pass the time.” Ryan’s voice filtered down from above. They could hear each other quite clearly without any furnishings in the way.

 “Are they dead?” Geoff asked and moved closer beneath where it sounded like Ryan was.

 Ryan chuckled, “Considering I have their heart in my hand; they better be.

 Are you going to continue to slink around below me, or are you going to come upstairs so we can talk? That _is_ what you said you wanted to do, wasn’t it?”

 “You can understand my reservation.” Geoff spotted the stairs behind stacked drywall, but didn’t make a move towards them, “We can talk well enough like this.”

 That had Ryan gently laugh to himself in amusement, “If that’s what you prefer.”

 Geoff heard a wet thud as something was dropped on the floor above. Floorboards groaned as Ryan changed where he was standing once again, and Geoff noticed that it was nearer to where he himself was standing.

 “Who’s the poor victim this time?” Geoff asked.

 “Security guard. He was watching this place, I assume so that no one would come and steal its precious copper.” Ryan explained with an air of amusement.

 Geoff decided to ask the most obvious question in his mind, “So _why_ do you kill people? What do you gain from it?”

 “Because I want to. Do I need any other reason?”

 “But why do you want to?”

  “Nothing makes me happier than their fear, their screams, as they choke on their blood and all light fades from their eyes. It is the ultimate in fulfilment, and it drives me, fuels me, through the times when Rye has me bound and muted.

 Is _that_ enough of an answer to satisfy you?”

 Geoff went silent. He didn’t know how to reply.

 “Trust me when I say I’ve been through enough psychoanalysis and therapy that you won’t find something they didn’t.” The therapy had also been _most_ educational, as had his fellow roommates at the time. He wondered if Geoff knew how most of his confinement had to be in seclusion, “Antisocial tendencies, unpredictability violent, illusions of grandeur and a superiority complex. Highly lucid and intelligent, but with little regard for the well-being of others. I could go on. They loved me; and I was one riddle they couldn’t solve. Oh and they didn’t give up, no. They kept poking and prodding and digging, so it was only natural that I began to do the same to them.”

 Geoff remained quiet. He didn’t like what he was hearing at all.

  The silence was broken by low complaint from Ryan’s stomach.

 “Was that you?” The hair on Geoff’s neck stood on end.

 “Rye had lunch and we’ve had nothing since. He always does this to me; just once I’d like _not_ to be hungry.” Ryan sounded downright tired of it.

 It was like two pieces of the puzzle suddenly snapped together in Geoff’s head. If Demon emerged when Ryan was hungry, it would not only explain his behaviour, but potentially give them a way to control when he appeared. The trick now would be testing this without Ryan noticing.

 “And you’re not the type to make a meal of that security guard, are you?” Geoff wanted confirmation for his own sake.

 Ryan made a disgusted noise, “I’m no cannibal.” He paused, “But to be fair it’s not like I’ve ever tried… That being said, I definitely can’t say with 100% certainty that I haven’t eaten it unknowingly.”

 “That’s a horrifying, yet entirely valid thought.” Geoff had to agree, “There’s a lot of mystery meat in the world.”

 “And I’m sure there’s a large black market for it. There’s lots of critters out there that have a taste for human.”

  _Yeah, like you._ Geoff thought but would never dare say.

 “So what happens now?” Geoff asked, “Are you going to dump the body somewhere? Because I refuse to help.”

 Ryan shifted his weight, “He stays here. The crew will find him in the morning.”

 “So you don’t care if he’s found? What the Hell, man?”

 “I haven’t been caught yet, have I?” Ryan argued.

 “No, but, that’s like,” Geoff stumbled over his words, “Evidence!”

 “Only if they have something to link it to.” Ryan replied, “Even if they get my DNA they still need to suspect me first. Are _you_ going to report me?” It was clearly a dare.

 “No, but, still!” Geoff was getting flustered, “You can’t just– what happens when you _do_ get suspected?!”

 “I skip town again. Or if I do get caught, I end up in a high security institution… again. Not ideal, but nothing I haven’t dealt with before.”

 Geoff was sure he could hear Ryan’s shrug at that.

 “You and Good Ryan are too similar, you know that? You’re both careless assholes.” Geoff angrily stated.

 “I am not like Rye.” Anger was clear in his voice, “Rye is pathetic and paralysed; all of his potential wasted, and mine with it! I could be running the show, I could– _we_ could rule! Have everything! But no, Rye has to hamstring us at every opportunity.

 Can you tell I’m bitter about having a loser in control of my body?”

 “You need to redefine your definition of loser. Rye is nice enough, and you could learn from him.” Geoff didn’t want to get into deeper shit with either Ryan.

 Ryan scoffed, “ _Nice._ ” He filled the word with venom, “’ _Nice’_ hasn’t gotten us anywhere. ‘ _Nice’_ gets you stepped on. ‘ _Nice’_ has you meekly accept fate instead of making it your own.”

 “Fuck, man.” Geoff didn’t really have another response, “Look I get that, trust me, I do. I’m in a black market business, alright? But you catch more flies with honey and all that.”

 “Actually most flies will prefer wine vinegar. It’s a far more effective way to catch and kill them.” Ryan corrected Geoff.

 “You know what I mean, asshat.” Geoff retorted, “And I’m not talking the manipulative type of nice, genuine nice.” He quickly added.

 “Beggars can’t be choosers.” Ryan threw his own adage at him. He then added under his breath, “Asshole.”

 “I heard that!” Geoff shouted up at Ryan.

 “Then turn me into a frog or some shit, and see if I care.”

 “I have no limit on the number of extra dicks I can hand out. So don’t tempt me!” Geoff smirked at the lack of a response from Ryan at that.

 After the pause Geoff spoke again, “So now what?”

 “We should probably leave.” Ryan replied, “Although if I come downstairs, I don’t want you cursing me or something.”

 “I want my keys back. So you better come down here.” Geoff told him and could hear Ryan walk over towards the stairs.

 Ryan made his way down the bare stairs and immediately spotted Geoff.

 Geoff looked at Ryan. The man had blood on his arms up to the elbows and smears across his shirt and jeans.

  _Great,_ Geoff thought, _Now I can’t even take him somewhere to grab food before he decides to kill again._

 “What’s going on with your eyes?” Ryan looked at Geoff.

 Geoff had completely forgotten about the enchantment and now that Ryan had pointed it out, Geoff had his own question, “Wait, you can see?”

 “I have functioning eyes, yes.” Ryan answered.

 “No, I mean, this is an enchantment for me to see. How are you seeing?”

 “Sometimes your level of eloquence astonishes me.” Ryan shook his head, “It’s really not that dark in here.”

 “It was too fucking dark for me!” Geoff responded.

 “Why is everything such a big deal with you? So I can see better than you; why is that worth working yourself up?”

 “Just give me my fucking keys!” Geoff changed the subject and stuck out his hand.

 “I heard you pull up, so unless you can drive two vehicles, I figure I should hold on to them.”

 “Give me my fucking keys!” Geoff demanded.

 Ryan shook his head in disbelief, but dug the keys out of his pocket. He dropped them into Geoff’s outstretched hand.

 Geoff closed his fingers around his keys and hoped that they weren’t covered in blood. Thankfully the blood on Ryan had dried enough not to easily transfer.

 “Come on.” Geoff told him and headed back outside.

 He was actually surprised when Ryan listened to him and followed.

 Geoff unlocked his truck and leaned in to start the engine. Leaving the keys inside he closed the door again and went over to Jack’s SUV.

 Ryan watched him with curiosity but stayed quiet.

 “Get in.” Geoff gestured to the passenger side of Jack’s car and went around to sit in the driver’s seat.

 Ryan opened the door and some blood transferred from his fingers to the handle. With some amusement he wondered if the owner would ever notice it as he seated himself.

 “Avoid touching anything. This is Jack’s car, and he has this thing about getting blood on his stuff.” Geoff informed Ryan.

 “As a summoner, wouldn’t he like having blood around?” Ryan raised an eyebrow.

 “You’d think so, wouldn’t you?” Geoff started the engine and shifted into reverse, “He says it’s like keeping napalm around… Also blood does totally rot after a while and really isn’t worth the work for how often he uses it.”

 “The more you know.”

 Geoff pulled out into the street, “Don’t get any ideas.” He warned Ryan and then looked into the rear view mirror.

 Geoff smiled and started off down the road.

 Ryan checked the mirror absently, and not believing what he saw, he turned around in his seat, “Is that even legal?”

 Like a dog on a leash, Geoff’s truck was following them. It kept a safe distance back but not far enough to allow someone else to cut in.

 “There’s a bunch of rules around driving a car, but much less about a car driving.

 Besides, it knows what to do.” Geoff shrugged.

 Ryan turned back around and his stomach gave a gurgle.

 Geoff frowned, “Are you fine with late night drive thru?”

 Ryan looked at him, “As long as it’s not Taco Bell, yeah.”

 “Okay, I’ll pull into somewhere.” Geoff took a hand off the wheel and pulled out his phone, “Here call Jack, and give him an update.”

 Ryan reached for the phone and Geoff saw his bloody hands. Quickly he pulled his phone back.

 “Never mind: use your own phone.” He stowed his away in a pocket once more.

 Ryan smirked and took out his own phone, “Why do you care about feeding me?” he begun search his contacts, “You seem the type to prefer I starve.”

 Geoff wasn’t going to tell him the real reason, “You’re mean enough already without being hungry. We’re heading back to a client, and I need you to behave.”

 Ryan appeared to agree, but stated, “I’ll avoid sabotaging my own income if I can.”

 “Yeah, well, you seem the type not to care.” Geoff copied Ryan’s previous words.

 “I’m _hurt_.” Ryan said with mock pain and then laughed, “If feeding me makes you less anxious about having me around, who am I to complain?” He dialled Jack’s number.

 “Hi Jack.” Ryan greeted, “Still Demon… Geoff’s next to me… No, he’s unhurt… Yes, I’m unhurt… You know what? I’m just going to put you on speaker.” Ryan took his phone away from his ear and turned to Geoff, “Tell Jack you’re alive.”

 “Hey Jack. I’m fine– listen we’re going to be back in a little bit, I want to get Ryan some food; he hasn’t eaten since lunch and it makes me uncomfortable.” Geoff informed Jack.

 “When did I get a second set of parents?” Ryan remarked.

 “Okay, but please don’t take too long. I still have an Egyptian curse to deal with here! I would _really_ appreciate some help.” Jack replied.

 “So it’s confirmed real? The Eyes?” Geoff asked.

 “Yeah.” Jack answered with a sigh, “Not sure if that’s really good news at this point.”

 “Didn’t you say that curses are fine as long as you don’t touch the object?” Ryan was curious.

 “Most of the time–” Jack didn’t get to finish his sentence.

 Geoff interrupted, “He’s holding the damn thing, and the way legend says this curse goes; he either has to pass the Eye and curse to someone else or cut off his hand to be free. If he doesn’t then the instant he lets go of it he dies. Apparently it’s pretty gruesome, too.”

 “Why the Hell did you touch it?!” Ryan didn’t believe Jack dumb enough to do something like that.

 “Because of you, asshole!” Geoff shouted at Ryan.

 “It’s my own fault, Geoff.” Jack calmly corrected, “When I stood up, I hit the table. The Eye I was inspecting rolled, and my reflex was to grab it before it fell.”

 Ryan was smiling and biting down laughter.

 “You only jumped to your feet because Fuckface stole my truck!” Geoff argued angrily.

 Ryan burst into laughter, “You fucking,” more laughter, “grabbed,” he coughed and attempted to calm himself, but broke into another fit.

 “SHUT UP!” Geoff bellowed, but it did nothing to stop Ryan.

 “An ancient Egyptian curse, _and he grabbed it!_ ” Ryan had to use his collar to wipe off his tears.

 “Look, I can still pass it off to you, Chuckles.” Jack said with irritation.

 “We’ll be there soon.” Geoff told Jack, “And if we need blood to break the curse, first dibs on Ryan.”

 “Hey!” That ended Ryan’s giggles quickly.

 “Offer accepted.” Jack said and hung up.

 Ryan put his phone away, “You want my blood, you’re going to have to have yours spilled.”

 It was Geoff’s turn to laugh, “Says the guy with less magical talent then a worm. You’re outmatched by us, accept it.”

 Ryan crossed his arms and smirked, “We’ll find out quick enough just how wrong you are.”

 “Sure.” Geoff replied. He wasn’t going to let a threat sit idle.

 Ryan chuckled at Geoff’s reply, “This is me playing nice, by the way.”

 “Then play nicer; with less threats. You’d think that you could go a full conversation without threatening someone.”

 That shut Ryan up.

 Geoff enjoyed the quiet too much to break it. So they drove in silence with Geoff’s truck in tow, until they spotted a McDonald’s and pulled into the drive through. The truck obediently drove in behind them.

 “Is a burger fine, or are you a nugget guy?” Geoff rolled down the window and pulled up to the speaker.

  “Burger.” Ryan answered, “And a large Diet Coke.”

 “You drink that shit too? Come on, have some self-respect!”

 “You stink of booze, and would criticise me?” Ryan snapped back.

 “Dude, I haven’t drunk since lunch. It’s like midnight now.” Geoff was taken aback, “Also I would never drive if I’d been drinking. I mean maybe I’d have my truck drive for me but–”

 “Hi, can I take your order?” The buzzing drive through voice interrupted him.

 Geoff relayed Ryan’s order, and when he was done he turned back to him, “And I do not stink of booze.”

 “Keep telling your liver that. Or what’s left of it.” Ryan was smug.

 They pulled up to the window and waited on their order. Behind them they could hear the cashier attempting to take Geoff’s truck’s order.

 “And _I’m_ the asshole.” Ryan commented in response.

 “Oh big deal; I’m minorly inconveniencing them. It’s not _murder._ ” Geoff snapped.

 The server opened the drive through window and handed Geoff the order in exchange for the appropriate amount of cash.

 “Have a nice night!” The server told them.

 Geoff tossed the paper bag of food at Ryan, “Thanks, you too.” And drove away. His truck followed without stopping at the window.

 Ryan wrapped his arms around the bag and held it close, as if having food nearer to his stomach would help his hunger.

 “This is Jack’s truck, he won’t give a fuck if you eat in here.” Geoff noticed Ryan’s posture, and was baffled by the show of etiquette.

 With a quick glance at Geoff to ensure he had permission, Ryan tore into the bag and grabbed the burger.

 Geoff couldn’t help but shake his head.

 Ryan swallowed, “What?”

 “You’re just fucking weird.” Geoff replied and then asked, “How long do you usually have control? Before Good Ryan runs the show again?”

 Mouth full, Ryan just shrugged. After a sip of his drink he replied, “Depends.”

 “On what?”

 “How badly he wants to be in control again.” Ryan finished the last of the burger and started in on the fries.

 “And that probably depends on the amount of murder, doesn’t it?” Geoff guessed.

 Ryan smiled fiendishly, “Not always.” He popped another fry into his mouth, “You’d be surprised.”

 Geoff used one hand to gesture to Ryan’s dirty hands, “You know there’s like a million bloodborne diseases, right?”

 “I’ve yet to catch one.” Ryan responded and made a show of grabbing his next fry, “It’s like extra seasoning.” He joked.

 Geoff did not laugh, “That’s some random dude’s blood flakes you’re ingesting. It’s fucking gross.”

 “And I’m fucking hungry.” Ryan retorted, “So unless you’ve got a magic sink in here, my hands are going to remain bloody.”

 “Guh.” Geoff shuddered.

 Ryan finished and crumpled the paper up. He rested his elbow on the door side armrest and stared out the window absently.

 Geoff exhaled deeply and took a final turn onto the street where their little store was. Parking was plentiful and Geoff’s original spot in front of the store was still free. He pulled up to the curb and his truck parked right behind him.

 “If you start laughing at Jack again, you’re Terry’s next meal. Got it?” Geoff warned Ryan as he turned off the engine.

 Ryan raised his hands defensively, “Alright, alright.”

 “Good.” Geoff got out of the SUV and headed inside.

 Jack looked up as Geoff entered the store, he was still seated at his makeshift work station, but Jeremy now sat next to him. The woman who had brought the Eyes of Anubis was leaning back in her chair and texting. She looked tired and annoyed.

 Jack held up the lapis orb in his right hand, “What do you suggest?” he asked Geoff.

 Ryan entered the store behind Geoff, and took in the sight. He fought a smirk but said nothing.

 Seeing Ryan covered in dry blood, Jack swore, “Jesus Christ, Ryan!”

 The woman looked up from her phone, “Is that all blood?!”

 “Don’t worry; it’s not his.” Geoff attempted to lighten the reality but saw it didn’t go over well, “Or alternatively, do… And don’t let him touch anything.”

 Ryan shrugged, “So I had some fun.”

 “How do you get blood up beyond the elbows?” Jeremy asked with morbid curiosity, but really didn’t want to know the answer.

 “There’s a sink in the back. Please wash off the best you can.” Jack told Ryan, “Your shirt and pants we can’t do anything about, so those will probably have to be burned.”

 “Shame; apparently these are the only decent articles of clothing I own.” Ryan wasn’t at all sorry about it.

 “Go wash.” Geoff urged him.

 Ryan rolled his eyes and headed to the back storage area of the store.

 They all heard the sink start.

 Geoff sighed and shook his head, “He just doesn’t give a fuck.”

 “What do you honestly expect?” Jack asked and then brought up his hand that still held the Eye, “So about _this_ situation.”

 “It honestly makes me super nervous that you’re just holding it; can we duct tape it to you or some shit?” Geoff suggested.

 Everyone glared at Geoff.

 “Geoff, I am not using duct tape on a three thousand year old relic.” Jack calmly explained.

 “String, then?” Geoff tried again.

 Ryan returned shaking some remaining water off of his hands, “Just hand it off to her.” He gestured towards the woman, “She seems to want it back badly enough; let her deal with it.”

 The woman narrowed her eyes and stared Ryan down, “Tell your idiot of an employee that that will not be happening.” She spoke to Geoff.

 Ryan smiled and stepping forward he opened his mouth to reply but Geoff was quicker than he was.

 “Remember what you told me about your paycheck!” Geoff quickly interrupted.

 Ryan rolled his head back and groaned, “Fiiiiiine.”

 “Control your attack dog.” The woman told Geoff and looked back to her phone.

 Ryan snorted in amusement but said no more.

 “I think we have a little bag with a drawstring. If it’s large enough we can put it over his hand and it would hold the Eye there.” Jeremy thought out loud.

 “Do it. Find it.” Geoff nodded.

 Jeremy rushed off towards the tables filled with strange equipment and started looking through drawers and boxes.

 “Got it!” He exclaimed and quickly returned to Jack.

 “I’m going to need help getting it over my hand and the Eye.” Jack looked the bag over.

 “Sure,” Jeremy carefully positioned himself and his hands.

 “Don’t touch it.” Ryan had somehow sneaked in nice and close to the group and wore a smirk.

 “Well, if I touch it, then we’ll just be worrying about me and not Jack.” Jeremy attempted to comfort himself as he slowly pulled the bag over the relic in Jack’s hand. The fabric had to stretch and was making the job difficult.

 “Could you just pass it back and forth between two people?” Ryan asked as he watched Jeremy pull the drawstring tight around Jack’s wrist.

 “No, you touch it twice, it kills you.” The woman told him.

 “What if more than one person touched it simultaneously? Both for the first time?” Ryan continued his questioning.

 “Then they would probably both be cursed… I’d assume.” Jack shrugged.

 “Does it work on everything living, or just humans? Could you pass the curse off to a dog? Or someone terminally ill?”

 “Ryan, it’s not like anyone is willing to test these things.” Geoff told him.

 “I see what he’s getting at, though.” Jeremy followed the logic, “Could we save you by getting a mouse, or like an ant, to touch it?”

 “Or a random person, and just forcefully take it back.” Ryan pointed out, “But I assumed the obvious answer wasn’t the one you were looking for.”

 “I’m not willing to gamble my life on a technicality.” Jack told Jeremy, and then turned to Ryan, “I’m also not dooming some random bystander.”

 “Nice knowing you.” Ryan smiled.

 “He can still hand it off to you, you know.” Geoff glared at Ryan.

 “And then I could just touch him with it, and he’d die. Or pass it off to literally anyone.” Ryan argued.

 “Looks like you forgot that he just doesn’t give a fuck.” Jeremy chuckled.

 Geoff moved his glare to Jeremy.

 “Who the fuck would want to pay money for something like this anyway? It’s like paying to get herpes.” Ryan seemed baffled.

 “I can think of two or three potential buyers off the bat.” Geoff replied, “And there are buyers for far worse.”

 “Oh, who are you thinking of?” Jack asked.

 “My best bet would be Simmons or Church, but Caboose and Sarge might surprise me.” Geoff told him.

 “Those better not be real names…” Ryan commented.

 “They’re not.” Geoff responded, “Those guys are some of my oldest and best friends, so they get first bid on anything I think would grab their interest.”

 “As long as they pay my price, I don’t care.” The woman spoke up, “And they can’t do that if he’s glued to one. They’re a set; you can’t sell one and not the other.”

 “If Church is interested, he might help us out. Maybe even Simmons would know something?” Jack suggested.

 The woman sat up, “I’m not letting that Eye leave my sight.”

 “If that’s the case, you’re welcome to sleep on my couch.” Jack said with mild irritation.

 “It’s not a bad couch.” Ryan nodded in remembrance.

 “I’m going to fire off a text to each of them, and see if there’s interest. If there is, I’ll tell them they have to free you first.” Geoff pulled out his phone and began to tap away.

 “Let’s hope it’s not a deal breaker.” Jeremy said.

 A man suddenly appeared in the centre of the room. He had short but curly black hair, and close cut beard. He wore thick black rimmed glasses and appeared only a few years older than Geoff. His clothing was casual but expensive.

 “Got your message. I’m interested.” The man told Geoff. He looked around the room and appeared pleased, “And I’m the first one here too. Awesome.”

 The door to the store was thrown open and another man rushed inside, panting. He was shorter than the other, round faced, and potentially Hispanic. He too wore glasses and had black hair and a short beard.

 “Did I get here before–” This man began and then looked up to see the first, “FUCK!”

 “Nice to see you too, buddy.” The first replied with a smile.

 “All that cardio, for nothing!” The second complained.

 There was a booming bang from outside that shook the whole building. Car alarms were set off and the neighbourhood dogs began barking.

 “And that’s probably–” Jack didn’t have to finish.

 A third man kicked the door open and entered with his arms in the air, “Joel!” He proudly proclaimed. He wore baggy sleepwear and a large grey hoodie. His short black hair had a bad case of bedhead, and unlike the others, he was clean shaven.

 The first man waved his hand somewhat mystically and all the car alarms silenced, “Figures you’d be interested too.” He nodded at the third.

 Geoff’s phone began to ring, he looked at the name, “And that’s our forth.” He answered the call, “Everyone else is here.” He listened and then hung up. He told the room, “Sarge says he’s not interested if you are all already here.”

 “His fucking loss.” The second man replied.

 “What reeks of blood?” The first man asked and answered his own question when he turned around and saw Ryan, “Oh damn. Here,” he waved his hand again.

 The blood on Ryan’s shirt and pants faded away and disappeared as if it had never been there.

 “That’s a handy trick.” Ryan inspected his clothing.

 “Burnie.” The first man introduced himself and stuck out his hand for Ryan to shake.

 Ryan took his hand, “Ryan.” He gave him his name.

 The second man stuck up his hand, “Gus.”

 “And Joel!” The third said enthusiastically.

 Burnie turned back to Geoff, “So where are the goods?”

 “And what’s the asking price?” Joel put his hands on his hips.

 “Twenty-two million.” The woman stood up.

 “And,” Geoff stuck up a finger, “You have to break the curse.”

 “Well, fuck. I’m out then.” Joel swore, “I can’t do shit… Unless…”

 “I’m not cutting my hand off.” Jack spoke up.

 “Oh fuck, you’re the one cursed?” Gus approached Jack and surveyed the situation, “That sucks, man.”

 “I could give you a new hand, though. A nice gold one, huh?” Joel offered.

 “I like my hands as they are.” Jack refused him.

 “That’s my best offer.” Joel shrugged, “Alchemy can’t do much with curses.”

 “Oh but I can.” Burnie grinned.

 “Hey, you’re not the only one.” Gus argued, “I might be able to do something here.”

 Burnie crossed his arms, “Alright then. You clear the curse and I’ll let you get first dibs.”

 “Don’t get smug with me!” Gus complained and pulled up a chair next to Jack, “Show me where the relic touched you.”

 Jack gave him his bag covered hand.

 “Can a snake like you even do anything?” Joel was hanging around to see how things would be resolved.

 Gus flipped him the bird, “I can try. Like Hell I let Oberon over there get what he wants.”

 “Hey!” Burnie protested.

 “I would have gone with ‘Tinkerbell’.” Joel smirked.

 “Ok, now _that_ is offensive.” Burnie glared at Joel.

 “That’s right.” Geoff agreed, “He prefers the term ‘fairy ‘.”

 “What is this?! Attack the Fae hour?!” Burnie asked the room, “Do I look like I fart glitter?!”

 “You certainly don’t look like Fair Folk.” Ryan commented.

 Burnie turned to face him, “We look like whatever the fuck we want to look like.”

 “And you chose that?” Ryan smirked.

 Burnie narrowed his eyes, but broke into a chuckle, “I like you.” He looked Ryan over, nodded and turned back to Geoff, “You really do enjoy dangerous company, don’t you?”

 “I’m friends with all of you, aren’t I?” Geoff deflected the question and wondered if Burnie simply knew Ryan wasn’t human, or if he actually knew what he was. Burnie was a young Fae, but he was still Fae, and they always knew too much.

 Gus closed his eyes and put his hands on Jack’s covered hand, “Alright, assholes. I need some quiet here to evaluate what I’m dealing with.”

 Respectfully, they quieted.

 “I’ve never dealt with anything Egyptian before. If this was Mayan, Aztec, or Incan… I’d have it fixed already.” Gus told them.

 “What? Old magic, ain’t all the same?” Joel teased.

 “Oh fuck you. I never said that; I just said all Alchemy’s the same. Which it is – hasn’t changed for centuries.” Gus argued.

 “No it’s not!” Joel shouted, “There’s so many new elements now, it’s a whole new discipline!”

 “And yet, all you bother to do is try to turn them all to gold.” Burnie chuckled.

 “When did attack the Fae hour become judge the alchemist hour?!” Joel whined.

 “When the alchemist didn’t shut up!” Gus snapped. He shifted his attention back to Jack, “The good news is I can identify the curse itself and how it’s latching itself onto you. The bad news is that I have no idea how to get it to let go.”

 “Does that mean it’s my turn?” Burnie neared them, eager.

 “Give me a minute.” Gus waved him away.

 There was quiet again for a few minutes until finally Gus shook his head and sighed, “Fuck. This has me stumped. Alright Burnie, your turn.” He vacated the seat next to Jack so Burnie could take it.

 Burnie sat down and rubbed his hands together, “Let’s take a look, shall we?” he took Jack’s hand and closed his eyes as Gus had done, “Oh yeah, it’s a mean one, but damn basic. Whoever cast it just wanted to cause as much pain as possible and made the rules nice and simple in order to do so. No contingencies, just ‘if A then B’.”

 “Does that make it easier or harder to deal with?” Jack asked.

 “Hell of a lot easier.” Burnie answered, “Ryan, could I use you for this?”

 “What?” Ryan was confused, “Why me?”

 Burnie looked at him and saw his genuine confusion, “Because…” he looked at Geoff and saw he didn’t know why either, “Geoff, can we talk for a sec?”

 Geoff hesitantly nodded.

 Instantly he was transported to a dark room where Burnie was standing before him. They were both well lit but there was no clear source for the light.

 “Don’t you know what he is?” Burnie spoke quickly.

 Geoff had conversed like this with Burnie in the past, and after the initial disorientation, he knew what was going on, “We think we do. Smiling Stranger, right?”

 “Yes!” Burnie responded, “OK so you do know, why did everyone look so confused?”

 “We don’t know much about them, and honestly don’t see how he could help you.” Geoff shrugged.

 “Not surprised he hasn’t told you much.” Burnie crossed his arms.

 “Oh he doesn’t know what he is.” Geoff explained, “And we don’t want him to figure it out.”

 “And was he the one to tell you that he doesn’t know what he is?” Burnie smirked.

 “I know what you’re thinking.” Geoff raised his hand, “But he really doesn’t know.”

 “He’s totally playing you.” Burnie told him, “You can’t trust a Smiling Stranger.”

 “And you’re not supposed to trust Fae either.” Geoff retorted.

 “Well no, but you’ve known me far longer than you’ve known him, and I haven’t eaten you. He still might.”

 “He legitimately thought himself possessed.” Geoff told him.

 “Fine, I’ll play along.” Burnie conceded, “I won’t mention anything to anyone. This also means he might not actually be of use to me at all.”

 “What do you mean?”

 Burnie saw that Geoff was clueless, “What do you happen to know about Smiling Strangers?”

 “We couldn’t find much. They eat people though.”

 “Where do I start?” Burnie asked himself, “Fae and Smiling Strangers have a bit of a rough history, and it all stems from preying on humans. Any human population can only sustain so much predation, right? Also we both favoured the whole ‘changeling’ method of child rearing. So we never really cooperated well… or tolerated each other… like at all.”

 “So Fae had another on a long list of enemies. Not surprising.” Geoff stated.

 “There’s all of like– ten things that can consistently kill Fae, and Smiling Strangers are one of them. Our two species didn’t get along, and the fact that both are lying manipulative dicks only made shit worse.”

 “You don’t have to worry about Ryan, I don’t think he has a magical bone in his body.”

 Burnie chuckled, “That’s their whole thing, Geoff. In order to effectively hunt a magic-wielding species such as humans, Fae evolved to be able to out magic anything a human could throw at them. Smiling Strangers took the opposite route, they _negate_ magic.”

 “And Fae are basically nothing but…” Geoff realised. Fae lived on magic like Humans did oxygen.

 “Yeah. So he can easily break the curse, if not eliminate it all together… but you’re saying that he wouldn’t even know how, huh?” Burnie looked pensive.

 “No he wouldn’t. He doesn’t know anything about what he is or what he should be capable of.”

 Burnie chuckled, “If he ever does learn, and comes after you, you’ll be left magicless and stalked by something far stronger than you.”

 “Are those the only powers a Smiling Stranger has?” Geoff had to ask.

 “Only?!” Burnie shook his head, “Like me, he’s _only_ better than you in every possible way. Although fortunately for you, he’s probably also never learned what he’s capable of, or how to achieve it.”

 “Hasn’t stopped him from being violent.” Geoff muttered, ignoring Burnie’s remark about superiority, then asked, “Why does he have the repressed instinct thing going on and you don’t?”

 “Repressed instinct?” Burnie wasn’t sure what Geoff meant.

 “Yeah, he’s a bit fucked up, but even outside of that he’s straight up murderous. I’ve known you for a long time and you’re nothing like that. So clearly the excuse of being a predator doesn’t hold up.”

 “We are completely different species…” Burnie took a moment to think on it, “If I had to guess, I figure it has to do with our social structure. If Fae are wolves, then Smiling Strangers are bears. We like staying in groups and communities, while Strangers are pretty much loners. That doesn’t mean they won’t team up, but outside of close family and finding a partner, they don’t really tolerate competition… So as Fae we would only need a couple individuals in our group to be good at killing and still survive.” Burnie looked to Geoff, “In contrast if you live and hunt alone then every individual better have the tools to be the best killer possible in order to survive.”

 “It’s scary how much sense that makes.” Geoff had to nod.

 “I could be totally wrong though. Everything I know has been filtered through millennia of racial bias. Smiling Strangers are the ‘barbarians from the hills’ and all that.”

 Geoff hesitated with his next question, but it was too important not to ask, “What is their weakness? If your two species have been at each other’s throats for so long, you have to know, right?”

 “I’ve met one only once or twice before, and never fought one. If I had to guess, I would say any sort of extreme dismemberment or something like incineration… as long as there’s no magic involved.” Burnie paused, “Although I did hear – and this is probably no more than Fae prejudice – that when Smiling Strangers _do_ kill each other they eat the remains. But like, I don’t care how pissed you are at someone, that’s way too much to eat.”

 Geoff wore a look of disgust, “Have you ever eaten hum–”

 “We Fae prefer the blood over the meat.” Burnie informed him before answering, “Personally, I don’t understand the hype, but yeah, I have partaken.”

 “I wonder if Gus has ever eaten anyone…” Geoff hadn’t really thought about it before.

 “Maybe if you dunked them in sanitiser.” Burnie smiled, “I honestly don’t see bird brain having the stomach for it. Not to mention I don’t think human was ever a staple in the Quetzalcoatl diet.”

 “I wouldn’t have expected you to.” Geoff pointed out.

 “Dude, it was ages ago at a family gathering, I’d be an asshole if I didn’t at least try it.” He then added, “From what I can tell human is becoming less and less popular among anything that can get by without it. If Burger King does the trick, why even bother? Not to mention human is getting super sketchy, it’s not like you can pull up their medical and dietary records.”

 Geoff began to laugh.

 “What? These are legitimate concerns.” Burnie didn’t see what was so funny.

 Geoff calmed but was still smiling, “Wheat grass fed, free range vegan.”

 Burnie chuckled, “OK, yeah that’s good. Now you have me imagining them running free in a field somewhere.”

 They chuckled for a bit.

 “So can Ryan still help you free Jack?” Geoff asked.

 Burnie shrugged, “Worth a shot. I can attempt to tease it from him. Whether that means just poking him with magic, or actually posing as a threat, we’ll have to find out.

 Oh but fair warning, if this in anyway leads to him figuring out how to wield his negating power; I am not responsible.”

 “You’re totally responsible!” Geoff protested.

 “Do you want to help Jack or not?!”

 Geoff glared at him, “I don’t want you leaving us with a Smiling Stranger you just happen to have taught how to use their powers!”

 “Tough shit, then. I’m sure Joel will do good on his offer of making Jack a new hand after you’re forced to cut it off.”

 Geoff fumed in silence.

 “You seem friendly enough with Ryan. I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Burnie dismissed his concerns, “And it’s not like he’ll immediately be proficient. You’ll have the upper hand potentially for years to come.”

 Geoff let out a long breath, “Fine, but if I call for help with him, you come. Immediately.”

 “Ugh, fine.” Burnie agreed.

 Suddenly they were back in the shop, in their original positions, with everyone else around them.

 “So Geoff, we good to go?” Burnie looked up from Jack’s hand.

 “You didn’t even tell him what you need me for!” Ryan argued. In his mind, all Geoff and Burnie had done was exchange a look. That wasn’t a talk at all.

 “I trust Burnie though.” Geoff turned to Ryan, “Just do as he says.”

 “You trust a Fae? Aren’t they – no offense Burnie – aren’t they notorious liars?” Ryan asked.

 “No offense taken at the truth.” Burnie nodded at Ryan.

 “I trust him far more than I do you.” Geoff told Ryan.

 “I– I don’t like magic.” Ryan stuttered, “You might trust him but I don’t. Fae eat people.”

 Geoff was dumbfounded; was Demon afraid?

 Burnie rolled his eyes and groaned loudly, “Ryan, you’re not a magic user so you don’t have a magical signature. This curse has latched itself onto Jack’s and that’s how it’s linking itself to him. I need you to grab Jack and what I’m going to do is push his signature partially onto you while drawing your non-signature onto him. The Eye of Anubis is will read this blended signature as someone completely new, without being able to link itself to either of you.

 During this period of time Jack will be free to drop the Eye, and the curse will break.”

 Geoff was always impressed how easily Burnie could spin a frighteningly believable tale.

 “Okay…” Ryan nodded. It made sense, except, “Then why does it have to be me? If you’re blending the signatures to form a new one, you could use anyone in this room, couldn’t you?”

 Burnie narrowed his eyes, the bastard was good, but here Burnie had the advantage of actually knowing about magic, “No Ryan. This isn’t like mixing a drink. It _needs_ to include a non-user.”

 “Why though?” It was genuine curiosity.

 Burnie gave a quick glare at Geoff, “Because! I don’t have the time to explain the intricacies of magical imprinting right now!”

 “Okay. Calm down.” Ryan approached and put his hand on Jack’s shoulder, “I’ll do it.”

 Burnie calmed “At most it might feel a bit weird, but it won’t hurt.” He reassured him, and then turned to Jack, “When I say so, take the Eye of Anubis out of your hand as quick as possible. And don’t touch it again, for the love of God.

 Ready?”

 “Yes.” Ryan replied.

 Jack nodded.

 “Cool.” Burnie closed his eyes, “Let me poke around.”

  _Rye, I know you’re giving me the silent treatment, but look, I’m helping your friend, OK? Rye?_

 Rye didn’t respond, but Ryan felt the bitterness and anger radiating through him.

  _I won’t be sorry for stating the truth!_ Ryan got frustrated with Rye’s silence, and decided to give him the same treatment.

 Burnie used his magic to gingerly reach out towards Ryan. He really didn’t know what to expect from a Smiling Stranger, and was worried about retaliation.

 Ryan shuddered quite violently, “Ugh.”

 Burnie cracked open an eye, “You alright?”

 “I’m fine.” Ryan was short, but his irritation wasn’t directed at Burnie.

 Burnie reached out again, but this time watched Ryan carefully.

 Ryan appeared to wince in discomfort.

 Burnie would clearly have to do more to get Ryan’s negating power to react. So he pushed forward farther.

 Suddenly it was like a bear trap snapped shut and Burnie’s exploratory magical limb was instantly severed.

 It was Burnie’s turn to flinch and recoil, “Ow, what the fuck, man?” He muttered without real anger.

 Ryan appeared alarmed but had no idea what had just occurred, “Did I fuck something up? That felt really weird, like…” He couldn’t find an analogy.

 “Like tearing off my goddamn arm.” Burnie finished his hanging analogy.

 “Is everything alright?” Geoff was concerned.

 “I wasn’t feeling anything.” Jack informed them.

 “Yeah, no, that’s because I have to pull Ryan’s signature before I get to yours. He’s just being stingy.” Burnie fabricated an explanation, “Let me just work on drawing it out.”

 “I honestly don’t _feel_ like I’m doing anything…” Ryan explained.

 “I’m the one doing the work, you’re just being a tease.” Burnie grinned. Ryan’s power had reacted defensively, which meant it was present. Now the trick would be to draw it out towards the relic. Burnie then had a thought; could he potentially convince Ryan to hold the relic and take the curse? He’d be fine, but the relic might not be. There was also little chance of getting Ryan to agree to something like that if he really didn’t know what he was.

 So he began to play a magical game of cat and mouse. Every time Ryan instinctively defended himself Burnie ensured his magic was just out of reach.

 “Oh fuck, I feel it now.” Jack huffed as Burnie finally succeeded on coaxing the magic negation through to Jack.

 Now to lure the curse into Ryan’s range so that he wasn’t just corroding Jack’s magic, and actually being useful.

 “I’m not feeling good.” Ryan simply stated while blinking and straining to focus his vision.

 “If this is how you’ve been feeling this whole time, I don’t blame– ”

 “GOT IT!” Burnie tore the Eye of Anubis from Jack’s hand, interrupting him. He was conscious not to let the actual lapis touch him. Victorious, he put the relic back onto the table with far too heavy a thud.

 “Ryan!” Geoff cried and jumped to his feet.

 Burnie turned around to see that the thud had not been his fault, but the fault of Ryan who had fainted and dropped to the floor like a sack of flour.

 “Oh crap.” Burnie cursed.

 Geoff, Jack, and Jeremy were over Ryan, and everyone was inspecting the scene with surprise.

 “He’s not dead!” Jeremy announced.

 “I broke the curse, of course he’s not dead!” Burnie scoffed.

 “You only broke him too!” Gus gestured to Ryan.

 Geoff straightened and looked at Burnie, “You overexerted him. He fucking fainted.”

 “I did what I had to, and it worked, didn’t it?” Burnie argued.

 Jack stood, “Yes you did. Thank you.” He nodded.

 “You’re welcome.” Burnie nodded back and then turned to the woman, “What was the asking price for the two Eyes again?”

 “Twenty-two million.” The woman appeared interested in affairs once more.

 Jeremy removed his shirt and bundled it up. He placed it under Ryan’s head. He noticed Ryan’s arm was bent awkwardly beneath him, so he began to work on pulling it out.

 “I’ll give you fifteen.” Burnie bartered, “They require a cleaning after being in human hands, and that’s going to be an ordeal.”

 “I’ll do fifteen and a half.” Gus offered.

 Burnie turned on him, “Hey! You said I get first dibs!”

 “I lied.” Gus smiled.

 “Both of your offers are insults to the amount of work that went into acquiring these!” The woman responded, “I will take eighteen million.”

 “Come on guys, I work on commission, and now I have another I have to split the money with.” Geoff urged and gestured to Ryan on the floor with Jeremy hovering over him.

 “Shut up, Geoff.” Gus told him.

 Jeremy saw Ryan stir, “He’s coming back, guys.”

 Ryan grunted and it turned into a groan as he tried get back up. He must have landed on his left knee and elbow, because they were feeling beaten up.

 “What…?” He looked up at Jeremy.

 “Ryan, meet Floor. Floor, Ryan.” Jeremy jokingly introduced him before giving him a hand in standing up, “So which Ryan are you?”

 Ryan flexed his jaw and rubbed the side of his face, “Rye. Er– Good Ryan.”

  _I– We fainted?!_ Demon was baffled, _That fucking Fae._

 “You alright?” Jack asked him.

 “I’ll be fine.” Ryan grumbled.

 Burnie continued to barter, “Sixteen and a half, and that’s as high as I’ll go.” He looked at Gus to see if he would try to outbid him.

 “I want them, but not that badly.” Gus responded to Burnie’s gaze.

 They both looked at the woman to see if she would accept or counter-offer.

 The woman pulled out her phone and tapped away at it. She didn’t appear pleased, but after a few seconds she sighed and put her phone away, “You have a deal.”

 “Hell yeah.” Burnie smiled.

 Geoff pulled out a business card that had nothing but a phone number on it, “Call this number to set up the transfer.” He held it out.

 The woman took the card and nodded, “I will.”

 “My fee will be deducted automatically.” He informed her.

 “Well that was fun.” Burnie announced, “Till next time.” He disappeared into thin air.

 “I guess I came here for nothing.” Gus complained.

 “You got to see me faint.” Ryan shrugged.

 Gus smirked, “You went down pretty hard.”

 “Can I bum on anyone’s couch or…?” Joel looked around for a volunteer.

 “How’d you get here?” Jack asked as he absently watched the woman pack up the Eyes of Anubis.

 “Ah, well, you know.” Joel shrugged.

 Ryan and Jeremy exchanged a look remembering the loud bang.

 “Forget about it.” Joel told them, “I’ll cab it.” He pulled out his phone and made his way back outside.

 The woman left with a silent nod to Geoff.

 Jack removed his multi-lensed glasses with his regular pair, “So Ryan,” he cleaned the lenses, “What do did you think of your first night on the job?”

 Ryan shrugged, “That’s not a typical night is it?”

 Gus broke into a fit of giggles.

 “Give him a break, Gus.” Jack chided, “Weird stuff always happens when you deal with magic. But hopefully the fainting won’t be a regular thing.”

 “Nah, I’m just remembering some of the shit we went through in the past.” Gus explained, “Tonight wasn’t weird _at all_.”

 “Shouldn’t you be leaving?” Geoff reminded him.

 “Sure.” Gus smiled. He waved goodbye at them and went to the door. Just before it closed he stuck his arm back through and flipped Geoff the finger.

 “I love you too!” Geoff shouted after him.

 “So what’s our take?” Jeremy asked now that they were alone.

 “I get finders fee on this one, Jack gets hazard pay… Actually in all fairness Ryan should get some hazard pay on this one as well.” Geoff nodded to Ryan who had no idea what that meant, “You and Jack split appraisal fee this time.” He told Jeremy.

 Jeremy nodded in understanding, “OK, awesome.”

 “Gavin and Matt get living wage since they didn’t do shit on this one.” Geoff told them.

 “Only fair.” Jeremy agreed.

 “So… what is that number…?” Ryan was eager to know.

 Geoff turned to Jack, and Jack took out his phone to calculate it.

 It took him a few seconds to get the number. When he did he looked back at Ryan, “Your cut for this job is going to be about three hundred.” Jack saw that it didn’t quite register with Ryan, “Thousand.” He added.

 Ryan’s eyes widened and he stared at Jack in disbelief, waiting for him to tell him it was a joke.

 Jack just raised his eyebrows and looked back at Ryan.

 “I have a feeling we’re going to have to have a chat with him about financial management.” Geoff told Jack.

 For the first time in Ryan’s life, Demon was incoherent. 


End file.
